I am home...

I titled this I am home. Yes, I am home. It has not been an easy journey. This all started from April 11th my first day of Aquatic Therapy. I left feeling a bit sore. I knew that would happen, but thought this is part of healing. I have to deal with some pain before the healing. Glad that the Lord is my strength to get me better. 

This picture I chose, says "Dear Lord, I come to You today, feeling broken, the same pain, and hurt again. I am honestly tired and weak right now. But I will hold on to You, my sweet Jesus because I know that this is just a part of my journey here as your humble servant." I chose this because although there are pain and feelings of discouragement I know the Lord is always there for me, no matter the situation, the circumstances He's always there. 

Missing in Action! Hospital Stay!

Husband while waiting for the doctor to come for me.

Husband took the gurney they wanted for me

I couldn't lay on the gurney as it caused more excruciating pain. I let him have it.

The nurse that came around bringing a warm blanket for me. She thought would be funny to place one over him too. She covered him from head to toe with the blanket, even over

the face. He never reacted, never moved. Haha! She took it from his face and he stayed asleep for a while until the doctors came around for me. 

Finally after x-rays, and CT scan they decided best to admit me to the hospital to see if they could get to the source of my pain and why I am losing function in my right leg.  Mind you all this started from doing aquatic physical therapy. Therapy is to help us to improve our lives make us healthier. Although with me the doctor not being familiar with my disease thought that physical therapy would be too dangerous because of the weight bearing exercises that would be expected of me; having Osteogenesis Imperfecta.  The doctor thought aquatic therapy would be better as the buoyancy would be better for my bones that it would relieve the pressure and I could exercise and improve. 

As I found out from friends and through research that Aquatic therapy is not a good idea for us as our bones can move and not go back into the original place they were. After two sessions the first one lasted less than 15 minutes in the water. The second not much longer than that. I could hardly get out on my own to the car to meet my husband. The doctor told us that aquatic therapy is very dangerous for those of us with Osteogenesis because of the resistance on the bones and muscles in the water. This can cause compression fractures, stress fractures, and edema within the bone.

Here I am in my room. They would not let me lay flat in my bed. I couldn't because of the pain.

The IV - they actually got me on the first try. 

There are 5 different medical bracelets on my wrist.

I realize these leg wraps are to prevent clots, but I call them

the bed tethers - they don't want you to escape, so when you 

try these will have a wait a minute hose attached to them.

The view from my room.

This was my breakfast the first day that I was there.

The walker that you see. That was my main transportation other than the wheelchair.
They liked me in the chair more than using the walker because I was so unsteady.

These are just a few of the medications they currently have me on. 

There are three of them not in this photo after I looked at them.

This all because of Aquatic Therapy. I was doing well prior to starting the therapy. You'd think that doing the therapy would be the better of the moves to do as it would better myself and strengthen me to continue doing well. Now, it's even more difficult as I cannot get around without a walker or wheelchair. I knew with the OI that those two medical assistant items would be part of my daily life, but not this soon.

This has been difficult for my family because we are a single income family due to the challenges that I face daily and many employers while they are not to ask "previous conditions", they tell you-you are a high liability risk then will not hire you. This makes things difficult, but we trust the LORD to provide and HE has provided.

Aquatic Therapy Pleasant or Torture

Hi, Everyone!!! Just had to use this cute adorable puppy for the cover for the article. I was trying to find a different picture but didn't want to post pictures of other people. I will try and post a picture of the pool where I do my therapy. The photo below is the pool where I do my aquatic therapy. The pool all the way around is 4 feet. Ok, those of you that know me know how short I am. With that being said the 4 feet of water is on my shoulders. You could say doing the therapy is a challenge all on its own. 

Today we did a few things it was quite rough on me. I am glad that I have over a week before I have to go back and pick up paperwork. I asked them to write out a plan for after this because I don't want to use up all my limited therapy visits from my insurance. They could appeal, but from what I have learned the insurance company about 90% of the time will say no.

I have to say that I am paying for it from what we did today. I have been sick and in lots of pain. I am slow moving right now as I write this.  I am thankful that I have a break from therapy for a while. I say that because when I go back it's a paperwork pickup. I will then take the pool therapy to land and incorporate it with my walking. I will beat this with my body. I don't know what the doctor will say when I go back to him in May. We will see. I then see my OI doctor in June. I will not be looking forward to this one as she's going to be moving out of state. 

I have to say so many thoughts are running through my mind right now as I write this. I know some of you may tell me not to think this way or that, but dealing with this daily is difficult. When challenges come up and trying to get through them is difficult and not always the way you think. When it comes to therapy we don't have many options. There are a lot of things that we cannot do because we could fracture easily. 

Thanks for taking time to read, have a good night,

In the Eye of the Storm - The Lord remains in control

Greetings Everyone!! Hope today finds you well. This morning's "dance" with my husband was better. I was feeling pretty good. We did our walk then I was downstairs to get ready for the day. I got our son motivated when he came down to get ready for his day. He was quite the sleepy one this morning. He started his day I then had to go to physical therapy. The therapist slotted a 45-60 minute session with me. I did my best. I wasn't liking getting in the pool. Now I understand why I shouldn't have. While one may think that aquatic therapy would be great for someone with brittle bones, it's quite the opposite. I am dearly paying for it now. I made it through 17 minutes. I had to stop it was too painful. I was finding parts of me that were hurting that didn't before. While I know that this is painful I have to look forward not back. I have to look up not down. I am in a storm right now, but God will get me through He remains in control. He guards my soul; no matter the storm I am going through He is there to get me through to the other side. He will do it for you. My special friend sent me this song. I know why it was sent to her, but she felt that I needed to listen and that I would like it. I do like the song very much. I mentioned to her that I had heard it twice last week. When I hear something two or three times in a short time span I listen and pay attention - never know what the Lord is trying to show you or bring to you. You must remain open and alert to what He has for you.

Thanks for Stopping by,

Saturday Blessings!

Saturday Blessings Everyone! Well, this is a change. I woke up at 4 am for our normal wake up time. I grabbed my medication took that, thought I was going to be up for the day - my body had other plans I was able to fall back to sleep which is unusual for me. I am thankful for the extra rest I don't usually get that due to the pain and discomfort of the Osteogenesis Imperfecta.  Those of us with the disease can attest to the various things that we deal with on a daily basis.

I must say that I am thankful for the friendship that I have made with my "Special Friend." She's great!!! Yes, we may have ups and downs, you know the kind - the bumping of heads on some topics. We have adjusted and learned to get around our "bumps in the road." We are now stronger in our friendship. I thank God for her. We get together and spend time with each other while our children play games together. I am thankful for their friendship as well. They have helped one another with homework as well. I like that they can do that. 

This morning's "dance" was a little easier. I praise God for that. I still loved dancing across the room with my husband. I enjoy our talks. This morning we both were getting up to get our days going. We got down the hall and we were both down the stairs. He did what he needed I got myself ready then our son woke up. We made breakfast.

Yesterday was my first day of physical therapy, but as most of us call it physical torture. Hmm, maybe because we go in with not a lot of pain and walk out with lots of pain. I did experience some pain while there, but when I got home it wasn't that bad until this morning. I guess the work I did, did settle in. I am ok otherwise. I know there will be some discomfort before I get better. I am already working on a plan for after physical therapy.  I want to be the best that I can for my family. I know we can get through this. God blessed me with a therapist that lives close to me. 

I hope you have a great weekend. Spend time with family, friends, and God. 

Blessings,

Let the Dancing begin.....

 

 

Good morning! I pray that you had a good nights rest. I had a little challenge last night, but I'd rather not talk about it. Let's get onto our morning. I pray that you will have a good day ahead of you. 

I "danced" with my husband around our room. Him holding me up as we walked together. We walked the hallway together; talking along the way. I love these early morning "dances" even if they are at 4 am most of the time. Today it was 4:15 am. I decided there was no staying put in bed I needed to get up and get going. The pain was too much. I just couldn't lay there anymore. We made it to the stairs my husband helped me down the first few then I was okay to get down the rest. 

I got myself ready for the day then went to my corner of the living room to spend some quality time with the Lord. I opened my devotional to today and grabbed my Bible to start reading. I always read the scripture reference first then go into the reading.  The scripture for today's devotional is found in Revelation 2:9-10 (NLT) "I know about your suffering and your poverty--but you are rich! I know the blasphemy of those opposing you. They say they are the Jews, but they are not, because their synagogue belongs to Satan. Don't be afraid of what you are about to suffer. The devil will throw some of you into prison to test you. You will suffer for ten days. But if you remain faithful even when facing death, I will give you the crown of life." 

I know I underlined quite a bit here, but there is so much being said in this devotional for today. Where it talks about those living with intractable physical pain, some barely able to function. I know many in the OI community that deals with this daily. I know I have as of late. There are so many days that I cannot even sit up in bed on my own or rise from the bed on my own, but with the help of my husband, I am able to get up. Though it may be painful I keep my trust in God because I know He brings me through the pain, through the fire. He keeps my attitude positive when the enemy wants to annoy me and try to make my attitude less positive. When you think about things, when you are close to God, the more quality time you spend with Him the enemy can't attack you, but annoy you. When you're not walking with the Lord the enemy loves to attack and keep you from God, but that's not what God wants for your life. He wants you to live with Him. When I am dealing with lots of pain whether from injuries or otherwise that's when I am most vulnerable. Words from friends, things I read, maybe even a song that a friend sends I may take all of these wrong - that's when the enemy is causing doubt in me - making me question things. I shouldn't be doing either of those; I should be going to the throne because God is still on the throne. He is our strength whether we are at our weakest moment or at a strong moment when we feel we are close to Him. We need to hold His hand through all that we face whether we think we can go it alone. He is there to help us, guide us, give us wisdom in all situations, circumstances. We need to remember He has promised a crown of life sweeter than life itself. My Lord is a strong, strong mighty tower. Here I am Lord, I am running through the door! I am taking refuge in You! Hold me, Lord! 

Thanks for taking time to read,

Time With Friends

Good Evening!! Hope you're having a good night with your families. I have been enjoying my evening with my family we decided to change things up by watching AFV. We are having some good laughs with one another. Not often do we all get the time to enjoy one another in the same room.  We are usually going this direction, and that and back again. Life can pull us away, but when we take the time even for a few minutes to make memories even if just laughing with each other. I love when my husband pays attention to my words even if I don't think he's heard me. That being said he was about to go upstairs but decided to come over to me. He started rubbing my shoulders then that became more like a massage. He rubbed my arms and massaged them. He then rubbed my neck and just talked to me. I loved it because he took the time to do it for one, but just the time to spend with me was special.

Today was filled with so many things... I was surprised with a pleasant call from a dear friend who also has OI. We were able to talk for a few minutes. Hopefully, we will be able to get another phone call in tomorrow or on Friday. I sometimes don't know how to take when my friends pick up my tone and know there's something wrong even if I don't tell them. I am glad that I have so many in my life and I am thankful for each part that they contribute to my life. I spent some time with my special friend today and I was blessed and I was glad that they came over. We had something that came on the news that tied in with what was going on around us as my friend and I said: "This is a God moment." I agree when God does that I thank Him for doing that - we know He's watching over us. I love when He brings someone into our life when we are facing a trial. The person doesn't know what is going on with us yet they say something and wonder sometimes why we give them a look. Sometimes they may take the time to ask or talk to us, other times they may not have the time to talk and walk away. We thank God for those moments because they are the moments that give us that "push" "the confidence to know that we will come out on the other side." 

The reason for the shirt. I was given this shirt from a dear sweet friend who is like a sister to me. She was just surfing the net came across this shirt. She said when she read it first she laughed out loud then said that's my sister to the T!! Ok, pun intended since it is a t-shirt. Aside from the sidetrack; she said that even through the trial of the Osteogenesis you still find the humor, the funny, the light side and this shirt just fits your personality. I read the shirt and said oh look it says "....only cooler" hmm, is that for those moments of snap, crackle..oops! She laughed so hard; we laughed together for a while then continued our conversation. Well, I should get going I have more to get done and write.

Thanks for Stopping by,

Good Morning!!!

Good Morning, my friends!!! How are you this fine morning? I am doing a little better. This morning's "dance" was a bit tough, but we got off and started out of our room and down the hall. Taking that step down the first stair was difficult, but I descended just fine although there was a lot of pain. I still gave God the glory why because He was there walking with me and holding my hand as I walked. He gave me the confidence to take each step. Some of the simplest tasks can be the most difficult, but not when you have God by your side. I was up, rising and shining at 4 am again due to pain, but I took my medication and as you read started downstairs to begin my day. 

Once I was downstairs I got myself ready for the day. I then went to the living room to have my quality time with the Lord. I started by reading my morning devotional A Spectacle of Glory God's Light Shining through Me Every Day, by Joni Eareckson Tada. Today she wrote based on Ephesians 5:20. Paul tells us that we must be "always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." For everything??? I have wrestled with these words, why, because there are things that I guess I keep to myself - this is futile because God already knows! The Bible tells us we're to give thanks, not only for the good stuff that happens in our lives but also for those hurtful, crushing, heartbreaking, out-of-control moments as well. He asks us to see life from His point of view. I look at this disease that my son and I have, the Osteogenesis days are challenging, but God gets us through. I think that He sees right now, right now how one day we will be healed and how the tears, the bruises, the setbacks and sorrows of this life have worked for the glory of His name. I spent time in prayer and I thanked the Lord for everything even for the Osteogenesis and the pain that have been my companions. Not that I like them, but God has a calling, a purpose for my life, for my son's life -- for that matter for your lives as well. We can endure whatever He allows touching our lives. He has our lives cupped in His hands and He loves us and He works every moment for the best and for His glory. 

Hoping to see a friend today. Not sure what they have planned for their day, God does. I will be spending some time in the Word and trying to do some therapy things. I pray that you have wonderful days, filled with the mighty blessings that God has for you!  Don't miss out on all the little and big things that God has to show you. I remember walking with our son when he was a lot younger. He said, "Mama, Mama, look at these tiny purple flowers!" I totally missed them why because I was in the "adult tunnel vision" - this is how we get as we grow up. We become focused on the things of life, things we have to do, what's next on our agenda. That day when we were walking my mind was on when we get back he will go down for a nap, I can get dinner started while he sleeps I can fold the laundry that's washed...and the list continues. When he said that simple phrase "...look at these tiny purple flowers!" Stopped me in my tracks!!! I looked down at him and said show me, baby. He showed me and they were what we consider weeds, but God created them for our enjoyment. I looked closer, then he picked one for me - they were so intricate.  The colors blended just perfectly. Now I pushed that "tunnel vision" to the wayside never to reintroduce. I look for all the tiny things that God created. When I see something new, or something I have seen even daily I still thank God for that blessing. I go for a walk (for therapy) I look for things asking God to show me what He wants me to learn or gain through the walk. I spend time talking to Him. No, I don't get funny looks from people that are around me if any because we don't have to speak out loud to God when we're outside, out in public unless we choose to. 

Thank You for stopping by and taking the time to read my post. Have a wonderful day!!

May God richly bless your lives,

Count your BLESSINGS Not Your PROBLEMS....Good Morning!!!

Good Morning!!! Hope you're having a wonderful day. I am very blessed with my husband.He as always at the 4 am wake up helped me up to do our morning "dance". I am so blessed having him. Yes, we have had our share of ups and downs, but the ups outweigh the downs by a long shot. We danced down the hallway then he sent me down the stairs as I was able to get down on my own. I was glad for that. Not always are the stairs manageable for me. 

I came down and found that our son slept on the couch. He said he had another bloody nose in the night. He's a great guy he handled it on his own; knowing we were just upstairs. He wanted to wake up if I came down. I tried to wake him, but he didn't want any part of my waking him up. I woke him at his normal time to wake for school. He rose and grabbed his clothes for the day, got a shower and ready for the day. We read our family devotion and now we've added a daily scripture reading with a family member's church. If you'd like to take a listen feel free. They have an app in the App Stores, click here, Calvary Chapel. He was off for school; we prayed as always before he left. He's off and now my husband is off to work. I have to get on with my day too before I leave you I want to share something else with you.

I have an app on my phone that gives us a daily challenge. I really love it; sometimes the challenges are something that I cannot do, but that's ok. I will pass on those. I like the challenges they give because some are exercises of just stretches, going for a walk, others are things like thanking someone..what are you most grateful for is another. I like that they're not just one type. I am most grateful to God for my relationship with Him. I am most grateful that He created us and the love He shows us through His creations; all the things He made. The ransom sacrifice of His son and His promises. I thank Him daily even in my deep days of pain. He's there to lift me up, help me face my day. I thank Him because He went to the cross for me, for you, for all of us. His love He has for us held Him there. I am so thankful that He has given us an awesome example of how we should act...being humble, kind, compassionate, a forgiving attitude even despite what others have done to Him, good moral character, living simply and putting others first. We do this even when sometimes it's when we need something, but want to meet someone else's need we do and we are blessed in other ways. We've had when we've given food to another when we were short but wanted to still bless the family. We did this then we heard a knock later on our door and someone from our church not knowing what was going on came with food and blessed us with lunch and food for dinner too. AMEN!!!

Thank you for stopping by, blessings,

Another Day.....Day of decision..Can I go?

Here we are it is only 4 am! The last medication was 10 pm--I am in such extreme pain that trying to even do the "dance" with my husband came with tears, uncertainty whether I was going to be able to make even the first step let alone consecutive steps. We got down the hallway, then the descending down the stairs met with more of a challenge as I had to depend more on my body to make each step-down. I cried and winced with each step; finally, at the bottom of the stairs, my husband says, "Are you going to make it? Can you walk on your own now?" This is so difficult to listen to; difficult being in this situation and feeling helpless. 

My mind is running with thoughts, concerns, questions and so much more. This is so sad when you have to question whether you can or can not get out to something that you love; for me that's church. I love my church, my church family, but when my body puts decisions on me of am I able or should I go? I don't like these decisions. I would much rather just be able to be happy that it is Sunday, family day, the day of worship; let's go!!! Let's enjoy! Why am I silent about it you ask? Well, I am for now considering the time is 4:30 am and my family is asleep, but not me my body is writhing in pain. I am writing yet I am talking with God as I write to you. I will be in His Word after I finish writing here. I may add some of what He showed me through His Word. 

As I said I would share with you what God showed me in His Word. He brought me to Psalm 56. I will write it out for you. I may highlight certain parts which spoke to my heart.

Psalm 56 - IN GOD I TRUST

Be merciful to me, O God, for man

would swallow me up;

Fighting all day he oppresses me. My 

enemies would hound me all day, 

For there are many who fight against me, O

Most High. Whenever I am afraid,

I will trust in You. In God (I will praise His

word),

In God I have put my trust;

I will not fear.

What can flesh do to me?

All day they twist my words;

All their thoughts are against me for evil.

They gather together,

They hide, they mark my steps,

When they lie in wait for my life. Shall they

escape by iniquity?

In anger cast down the peoples, O God!

You number my wanderings;

Put my tears into Your bottle;

Are they not in Your book? When I cry out

to You,

Then my enemies will turn back;

This I know, because God is for me. 

In God (I will praise His word), In

God I have put my trust;

I will not be afraid. 

What can man do to me?

Vows made to You are binding upon me, O God;

I will render praises to You, For You have 

delivered my soul from death.

Have You not kept my feet from falling, 

That I may walk before God

In the light of the living?

Now as I stated earlier that I would highlight some parts. I said that I would go over how they spoke to me.  The first one where I highlighted "Whenever I am afraid... I will trust in You." This part speaks a great deal because I am reminded of the scripture from II Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." This speaks volumes because God has not given us a spirit of fear - we need to hold steadfast to this truth. When we come against a situation that causes fear we need to go to the throne of God for His strength, His love, His guidance to the Word that only He can give us. We have to remember to praise His Word, why? You may ask why, but because His Word is our life instruction. He in His Word tells us all we need to know. He tells us all that we need for what we are going through. We may not think so, but trust Him and He will guide you through His Word what He wants you to read. What He wants to show you to get you through.

I put my trust in Christ as a teenager. I had a great childhood, my parents did all they could with me and my brother. My Mom stayed home with us until we were older then she worked part-time and would be home when we returned from school. My Father, he worked extensive hours yet on Friday night when he'd return home (mind you he had given instruction to my Mom prior to getting the camper ready) we'd leave for camp. We'd go for the weekend. My Mom would give my brother and my instruction to get things ready to go. Pack the things we wanted to bring. She would end with bringing your Bibles. You know there's nothing like reading God's Word around the campfire. My parents let us get involved with sports and other extracurricular activities with school. You may think that that's crazy you in sports!!!! You have Osteogenesis!!! Yes, I know I do. I was born with it, yes. In regards to my parents, Osteogenesis was not well known. Not many doctors were or are even today aware of Osteogenesis. I know my parents did all they could to protect us. Yes, I did fracture a lot growing up, but the things that I did when I fractured I am glad that I had the opportunity to do them - they were fun even though I experienced an injury. I choose not to allow the Osteogenesis to rob me of the fun.  God is with me, God is in me. He is my shield and protector. 

I as mentioned that I put my trust in Christ as a teenager. I had some bad influences around me through school. There were some friendships that I had to turn from because I knew they would lead to ungodly things. I pray for those friends even though I have walked away from the friendship. I got involved in what I thought was a good group to be involved in until I learned some of the secretive things about this group were unbiblical and of the occult. Mind you as a teen that would scare any teen away although I can say that some friends of mine that I made while in this group are still involved, yet as an adult now. I had some wonderful Christian family friends of our family, my youth leaders, my parents, my Pastor, Pastor Blaine. All these people influenced my life directing me to the Lord, to His Word. They talked to me, answering questions when I needed them answered, mentoring me when I needed it. I am so ever grateful that each one of them came alongside me. I accepted Christ, I then took my next step in Faith and was baptized. I continue to grow daily. God teaches, shows me so many things. I love walking with my Lord.

This morning about 7:40 am I rose from bed to begin getting ready for church. The pain wasn't as crippling as it was at 4 am. That I was thankful and I thanked God for allowing me to rise without as much pain. The dance around the room and down the hallway was much easier this time. I still needed assistance, but I wasn't crying because of pain for that I am very thankful. We complain when things are good or bad. We all experience challenges in our lives that tempt us to complain or even give up. When God sends His blessings (and He will), fight the urge to complain. Bob Russell said, "It is a rare person who, when his cup runs over, can thank God instead of complaining about the limited size of his mug!" So when you feel the urge to complain take a step back and spend time with God. 

Thank you for stopping by and reading my post for the day. I know this is a longer one than usual, but this is just some of the experiences I deal with that never get shared. I keep them to myself, or just my husband and I know about them. I don't share them with our son because I don't want to cause unnecessary worry within him. I know he has the same disease, but his experiences may be same or could range very differently from my own.

Blessings, Have a wonderful Sunday,