Moving Forward....Watching God put things together just the way He wants to

Hi Everyone, hope you're staying warm in these brutal cold temperatures. I know we are staying warm. My husband is a great provider in that he's running our pellet stove to keep us warm and he brought food in unexpected yesterday. I was so glad that he did. I am putting meals together with what he brought. He does so much and tries so hard to provide for our family. We really appreciate all that he does for us. 

Now to get onto what's going on since my last appointment. I had blood work drawn when I was there last. I received the results this morning and I am not pleased to see where the numbers lay. They're low in areas where they need to be higher and those that need to be low are high. I know that after the bone density next Wednesday my doctor will be scheduling the infusions. 

No this doesn't surprise me. I have learned in the years since being diagnosed when I don't feel right, the bone pain is increasing that means one of two things that my calcium is high or that my Vitamin D is bottoming out. In this case, both are down. I know this is not a "snap of the fingers" situation. I know God can do a snap of the fingers and things are fine -- He's choosing a slow path that will draw me to lean harder, press harder into Him. This is His path, not mine. I have to learn to rest with Him and listen, be alert to His direction, how I handle this as the days go, the hiccups that may come along the way.

As I get more updates I will update here. Have a great day everyone!!!

Grace & Peace,

The wait is over! The time has come.....

Good Morning, Everyone! Today is the day we get the results of all the tests. I am praying for the best. I know that God has brought me from mountain to mountain, level to level in my walk with Him. The journey hasn't always been easy, but what comes out of the challenges, the miracles, the amazing things that I have experienced in my life that the Lord has brought me through outweigh the burden, the fear, the tears, the sleepless times, the times with pain by far!

This is how I am going to roll with what's coming at me today. I will be wearing my OI (Osteogenesis Imperfecta) shirt that a bestie gave to me. I love you Jenn, (Goose). She bought me this shirt because she knows my humor and how I roll with things. She has known with this disease that both our son and I face daily hasn't been an easy one especially in the beginning.  She and others know how torn I was. How I was so afraid that our son was going to die, what do I do now? Where do I turn? How do I get information on this disease? Is there information on this? What are the treatments? How harmful are they? These are just a few of the thoughts running through my and my husband's minds at the time of diagnosis. Never did we see that within a few months I too would be diagnosed with Osteogenesis. I was still scared as I was still learning, yet I was now building my knowledge base. I was building my support system. I was gaining friendships that the Lord was putting me in touch with strong Christian friends. 

One of my best friends lives in New Hampshire. Keith and his beautiful wife Lisa have been great inspirations, great information providers, a great support team for our son and I when we'd face infusions, tests, hiccups along the road of OI we'd struggle through. The phone calls that would come and calls I'd make to them they would provide answers if they had them, prayer and most of all encouragement.  When calls would come sometimes that support would be me giving it to Keith through his challenges with the OI. Giving encouragement and guidance on things that he's facing as well. This is how we roll through this day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year. 

I won't lie and say I am fine with the appointment coming today to get results. I am not fine, I am a bit nervous, and not sure I am ready for the words the doctor will express to me today. I know that I have to move forward. I have to be ready for the diagnosis, is it going to be a severe cycle of the current type of OI I have now? Is it going to be a more severe Type of OI? Is it going to be cancer? How strong am I? I am blessed with many caring friends and I am glad they're in my life and I try to be as caring and there for each and every one of my friends even if they're states away from me. One of my great friends gave me this message prior to my leaving for my appointment. "Prayers the results are going to be not what you think, but a way to make improvements. I feel very confident in your results."

I am now home from the appointment. The appointment took much longer than expected. I arrived and was checked in by 1:20 pm had my appointment with my doctor and finished out with going to the lab for more blood work. By the time I arrived home it was after 5 pm. Now an overview of the appointment. My doctor began by thoroughly going over my record with me making certain all the information was correct; any updates or concerns were added in so that proper attention can be given or directed for that specific concern. After this was done we discussed the results of recent testings and bloodwork. I was given the information that I have been waiting for since before Christmas. I must say first off I was told the results do not show cancer. I praise God for that result, AMEN!! The next concern was is this a more severe type of OI (Osteogenesis Imperfecta); the next result says No, this is not a more severe form of OI. I praise God for this result, AMEN! Now for the rest of the results. I was told that between bones and muscle pain I am in pain 97% of my body. That doesn't sound good, but there is a way to help this and we are on that to get the pain reduced and stopped. They did more bloodwork to make certain nothing was missed. The doctor did say that I was in a more severe state with my OI. I was also advised about Reclast infusions and the benefits that they give.  I am now scheduled for a bone density scan for next week. When the bloodwork results return and the scan is done we will set schedule for the Reclast infusions. I am also being scheduled with a Rheumatologist and an Autoimmune Specialist.

The infusions are going to be a hard rough road, BUT I am going forward and will deal with the harsh side effects as they come. They may knock me, but I refuse to let them break me!

I love when friends send me encouraging messages. They have really blessed me with all that I have had coming at me in this. I will leave you with those encouraging words. 

"You may feel defeated. But, you are more than a conqueror! You may feel cast down. But you are victorious in Christ Jesus! You may not understand why so much is happening in your life that you don't understand....BUT, for every struggle, for every disappointment you had, for every time you felt alone, for every friend that left you God has a turnaround for you!" *this is from INSTAGOD MINISTRIES

"God already solved your eternity problem, why wouldn't He solve your temporary problems?"

"Will keep you in my prayers. Wish there was more that I could do."

"Good Luck Kiddo... I hope they don't make you too sick and your bones get strong. Sorry, I hope the treatments work."

"OK. GOOD FOR YOU! Our God has taken care of you. HE has steadied your emotions; HE has saved you from cancer; HE has given the doctors a way for treatment; HE will be with you throughout this difficult time. RED SEA RULES will prevail! Again--has your front, your back, both sides and everything in between -- you are in better hands than Allstate!!!!"

"This is great Leah that it isn't cancer or another form of O.I. I hope your other visits go well and they can help you."

"I was wondering how it went. Will continue to pray."

"I'm so glad it's not cancer Leah. I'm hoping infusions will help you. Keep your chin up Leah <3"

Thanks for hanging out. I hope you've enjoyed your visit. I will post as I go forward with treatments and let you know how things are going. I will now leave you with something fun. This was at my doctor's office. 

Grace & Peace,

Challenges that come how will you handle the storm?

Good Afternoon, Everyone! I hope that you have wonderful day today. I posed the question to you because I have had several challenges thrown at me recently. I thought by posing it to you I thought it would give you something to think about. I could have easily thrown in the towel and given up in the storms I am facing right now. I chose not to give up. I chose to face these storms head on.  I know that God will carry me through them. We all face different challenges and storms in our lives; from things in our lives, the children, medical things, relationship things and more. The challenges I am facing right now are medical related. They’re overwhelming to me because they’re coming one after the other.  Yes, I could give up, I could cry over them, I could get angry over them; I could worry; where would that get me? How would that resolve anything? It would not resolve anything, it would only stop me in my tracks. It would stop me from moving forward. I instead have taken each one of these challenges to the Lord. I have given them to Him to carry. I left them with Him and as I go through these challenges I will give all the new information that comes from each one and give it to the Lord. I know the days ahead will not be easy, but with the Lord they will be easier. How you ask? Here are some scriptures that I have read that will help me through the days ahead. I will share them with you here. After I share the scriptures with you I will open up about the medical challenges I am facing. 

Psalms 27:1 

 “The Lord is my light and my salvation —so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?”

Isaiah 41:13

“For I hold you by your right hand — I the Lord your God. And, I say to you, Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.”

I Peter 5:7

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” 

As promised I told you I would open up about what is going on with me. The first storm has been my back I have been having lots of pain still from my injury in April with the aquatic therapy. I have now had two surgical back procedures and may be facing a third. A second storm that I am facing is one with my eyes. I was already diagnosed with early stages of glaucoma, but that is begining to change. I was told that the collagen defect due to my brittle bones disease is now affecting my eyes. I may be facing some serious things ahead. They did mention about surgery for the eyes. I don’t know as I am ready for that yet. I know these things generally happen later in your life, but I am experiencing things now.  I did not think I would be experiencing these right now in my life. I also am experiencing injuries that are occurring without my doing anything to be hurt. I was dealing with extreme pain in my left elbow. I did not know what could be causing it. The doctor asked if I had been doing any heavy lifting or gardening; no, I have not. I have been recouping from a back surgical procedure two weeks ago. He said I guess you wouldn’t be then. They took some pictures and ran some scans discovering that the tendon in my elbow is inflamed and tearing. Again the words surgery come out of the doctor’s mouth. Not what I was wanting to hear. We will try other things before surgery. I will try physical therapy then from there we will see what needs to be done to resolve things.

How you take the storms that come in our lives will determine how you come out on the other side of the storm. If we let them control us then we can be negative, we can give up when there is a positive side that we are missing because we have decided to cover that with negative thoughts. This brings me to a scripture that I love a lot because I remember it often.

2 Corinthians 10:4-6

“For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casing down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.”

Thanks for taking the time to read this entry. I hope it has given some insight for you to be able to take on your storms in a different way. 

Thank You for stopping by, 

Deep In Thought........

Today has been a wet day with the constant rain coming down. I was looking for a picture to fit with how I have been today. Today I spent most of my time deep in thought. I have been thinking about so many things with all that I am dealing with in this journey of healing. I verse that I thought was from the book of Colossians. Colossians 4:2-3 (NLT) "Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. Pray for us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about His mysterious plan concerning Christ...." You may ask why this verse...well, I thought of this one because devoting ourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart; God hears us when we pray. He hears us when we pray and spend time with Him; our relationship grows with what He teaches us. Our hearts are more open to receiving what He has for us. I have been finding with this whole injury my spending time in the Word and prayer I have grown in so many ways. I realize that God means for me to be where I am. You think right away I dare to say; how can you say that? I mean seriously! Are you saying that God meant for you to get injured while in that pool for therapy??? No, I am not saying that. I am saying that He may have needed me to slow down and He allowed this.

There are times where God needs us to slow down and hear what He has for us. While getting injured doesn't mean that was the way He wanted me to slow down. It may have taken that because I admit I can be stubborn and push on when I shouldn't. Some circumstances are beyond our control. Sometimes just a card in the mail, a phone call, a knock on the door can throw us for a loop.  We need to be ready for what may come our way.  When we worry about something is us putting question marks where God puts a period. God appreciates when we do His work; what He has planned for us, for you, for me. There are so many ways that God gets our attention to get us to slow down to draw to Him. I am thankful for this time. This has been a long time; we are now five weeks in and I am still not where I need to be physically, but I have grown in so many other ways. 

I have been with four different women from my church. They come certain days of the week to help me at my home, with walking, with making meals for me, for conversation - times of refreshing for them and for me. We talk about things in our lives and share with one another.  They have taught me so much about them and they've said I have taught them so much about me. I have told them some really personal things that I don't share with just anyone. We spent time in prayer; we spent time in tears not always because of sadness, but in times of growth, times of frustration from things of negative anger. There are times that we spend singing our hearts out loudly with the television...hehe so loudly that we rock and roll my husband right out the front door. I hate to admit we laugh when we do that. Is that wrong??? I have to say that it's funny at times watching his reaction when he's going out that door.  In times like these, I have to think of God's glory rather than for my relief.  You may think why wait, how do you do that?? I mean seriously, naturally, we think of questions like these. "How did I get into this mess, and how can I get out?" "How quickly can I solve this problem?" "Why did this have to happen to me?"  That last one is a difficult one, isn't it? I mean when we get hurt, when we get into something that is catastrophic we think how did this happen? Why didn't I stop? Why didn't I see this coming? Sometimes we need to step back. When something comes at us; instead of reacting how we usually do "how can I get out of this mess?". We should change our thinking to "How can God be glorified in this situation. By doing this can change your whole perspective on the situation that you're in. 

When you think about it what comes to your mind? When you think of the enemy what does he do he comes in and bothers us, annoys us. His mission is to seek, kill and destroy. We need to acknowledge when he sneaks in and attacks us...we need to be at the ready and keep our eyes on the Lord. I have kept you here a long time so I will let you go. I thank you for taking the time to read my post. I will have more to write in the days ahead. 

Thanks for stopping by, have a great day,

Long Time No Visit

Greetings Everyone!!! I am sorry that it's been a long, long time since I have been writing. I apologize. I have been trying to get back on my feet and walking again. I am making progress with some setbacks. I am determined to move ahead. I did get some outdoor time even if it was just sitting on the bench outside my home. That's progress because I am not surrounded by the four walls that now feel like a prison. I hate to say it, but I don't want to be a fixture in my living room; in my living room recliner.
While I could focus on what I am not doing yet; I will not and refuse to. I have to say that this time with the challenges that are and were before me was very taxing on my emotions.  When this all began it was some back pain that started this.  I went to the doctor to seek help to find that I was directed to therapy.  I thought I was making the right choice. When I experienced some pain the first day I thought okay this is expected this is something different that I am used to doing. When it transferred over to the second day and continued from there as you know the rest of what happened. I knew then, that I had challenges ahead that haven't happened yet, challenges that I was facing right at that moment. I said that this was very taxing on my emotions. This was; those that came willingly to our home to help me with everyday tasks, personal tasks I am so very grateful and thankful for every moment spent with them. I am not saying that this is a one-way experience. That is not this in any way.  I say that because these were times of refreshing for me and for them. We learned from one another. They learned about me; things that I had experienced in life. I learned things about their lives; things they experienced. This has impacted how I have dealt with and continue to deal with this setback. Setback?! You may say is that what you call it?? It is and it is an injury from the physical therapy as well, but I will get to my goals and ambitions in God's timing. He knows what they are and when they will happen. While others may think that I am wrapped in what I cannot do. I am not while these things do get to my emotions going and I can become overwhelmed at times.  Those times have been fortunate to have been blessed with friends around and them to bring words from God to my heart that some didn't even know that I was struggling with things. I appreciate each one of them that have been here. I am thankful for my husband that the Lord gave me. I say this because of something dear and close to his heart he shared with me during this time of struggle with me. I will not disclose his words here as they were just that dear and close to his heart and not easy for him to share. I have to say that his sharing these words made our relationship even stronger and helped me to see things with him differently in the current circumstances that I am dealing with.

I have to say that today I am doing better, still have a way to come yet. I am getting there. I am not giving in or complaining at all that it's taking this long to get back to where I was. I can say that I am better for the challenges that I have faced already. I am stronger for it as well. I have been in the Word throughout this ordeal. I have been directed to scripture, to books, to other things that friends and family have brought to me. I was also given things from my Pastor during this time as well. He has touched my heart with his encouraging words through this time. He has touched my heart with his sermons as well. I know through this whole process I have grown in many ways. I am thankful for what God is teaching me through this.  I hope that you will stick with me to see how things turn out and where God leads me throughout this challenge. 

Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to read my post and stopping by. Have a wonderful day!!! 

Aquatic Therapy Pleasant or Torture

Hi, Everyone!!! Just had to use this cute adorable puppy for the cover for the article. I was trying to find a different picture but didn't want to post pictures of other people. I will try and post a picture of the pool where I do my therapy. The photo below is the pool where I do my aquatic therapy. The pool all the way around is 4 feet. Ok, those of you that know me know how short I am. With that being said the 4 feet of water is on my shoulders. You could say doing the therapy is a challenge all on its own. 

Today we did a few things it was quite rough on me. I am glad that I have over a week before I have to go back and pick up paperwork. I asked them to write out a plan for after this because I don't want to use up all my limited therapy visits from my insurance. They could appeal, but from what I have learned the insurance company about 90% of the time will say no.

I have to say that I am paying for it from what we did today. I have been sick and in lots of pain. I am slow moving right now as I write this.  I am thankful that I have a break from therapy for a while. I say that because when I go back it's a paperwork pickup. I will then take the pool therapy to land and incorporate it with my walking. I will beat this with my body. I don't know what the doctor will say when I go back to him in May. We will see. I then see my OI doctor in June. I will not be looking forward to this one as she's going to be moving out of state. 

I have to say so many thoughts are running through my mind right now as I write this. I know some of you may tell me not to think this way or that, but dealing with this daily is difficult. When challenges come up and trying to get through them is difficult and not always the way you think. When it comes to therapy we don't have many options. There are a lot of things that we cannot do because we could fracture easily. 

Thanks for taking time to read, have a good night,

Saturday Blessings!

Saturday Blessings Everyone! Well, this is a change. I woke up at 4 am for our normal wake up time. I grabbed my medication took that, thought I was going to be up for the day - my body had other plans I was able to fall back to sleep which is unusual for me. I am thankful for the extra rest I don't usually get that due to the pain and discomfort of the Osteogenesis Imperfecta.  Those of us with the disease can attest to the various things that we deal with on a daily basis.

I must say that I am thankful for the friendship that I have made with my "Special Friend." She's great!!! Yes, we may have ups and downs, you know the kind - the bumping of heads on some topics. We have adjusted and learned to get around our "bumps in the road." We are now stronger in our friendship. I thank God for her. We get together and spend time with each other while our children play games together. I am thankful for their friendship as well. They have helped one another with homework as well. I like that they can do that. 

This morning's "dance" was a little easier. I praise God for that. I still loved dancing across the room with my husband. I enjoy our talks. This morning we both were getting up to get our days going. We got down the hall and we were both down the stairs. He did what he needed I got myself ready then our son woke up. We made breakfast.

Yesterday was my first day of physical therapy, but as most of us call it physical torture. Hmm, maybe because we go in with not a lot of pain and walk out with lots of pain. I did experience some pain while there, but when I got home it wasn't that bad until this morning. I guess the work I did, did settle in. I am ok otherwise. I know there will be some discomfort before I get better. I am already working on a plan for after physical therapy.  I want to be the best that I can for my family. I know we can get through this. God blessed me with a therapist that lives close to me. 

I hope you have a great weekend. Spend time with family, friends, and God. 

Blessings,

Let the Dancing begin.....

 

 

Good morning! I pray that you had a good nights rest. I had a little challenge last night, but I'd rather not talk about it. Let's get onto our morning. I pray that you will have a good day ahead of you. 

I "danced" with my husband around our room. Him holding me up as we walked together. We walked the hallway together; talking along the way. I love these early morning "dances" even if they are at 4 am most of the time. Today it was 4:15 am. I decided there was no staying put in bed I needed to get up and get going. The pain was too much. I just couldn't lay there anymore. We made it to the stairs my husband helped me down the first few then I was okay to get down the rest. 

I got myself ready for the day then went to my corner of the living room to spend some quality time with the Lord. I opened my devotional to today and grabbed my Bible to start reading. I always read the scripture reference first then go into the reading.  The scripture for today's devotional is found in Revelation 2:9-10 (NLT) "I know about your suffering and your poverty--but you are rich! I know the blasphemy of those opposing you. They say they are the Jews, but they are not, because their synagogue belongs to Satan. Don't be afraid of what you are about to suffer. The devil will throw some of you into prison to test you. You will suffer for ten days. But if you remain faithful even when facing death, I will give you the crown of life." 

I know I underlined quite a bit here, but there is so much being said in this devotional for today. Where it talks about those living with intractable physical pain, some barely able to function. I know many in the OI community that deals with this daily. I know I have as of late. There are so many days that I cannot even sit up in bed on my own or rise from the bed on my own, but with the help of my husband, I am able to get up. Though it may be painful I keep my trust in God because I know He brings me through the pain, through the fire. He keeps my attitude positive when the enemy wants to annoy me and try to make my attitude less positive. When you think about things, when you are close to God, the more quality time you spend with Him the enemy can't attack you, but annoy you. When you're not walking with the Lord the enemy loves to attack and keep you from God, but that's not what God wants for your life. He wants you to live with Him. When I am dealing with lots of pain whether from injuries or otherwise that's when I am most vulnerable. Words from friends, things I read, maybe even a song that a friend sends I may take all of these wrong - that's when the enemy is causing doubt in me - making me question things. I shouldn't be doing either of those; I should be going to the throne because God is still on the throne. He is our strength whether we are at our weakest moment or at a strong moment when we feel we are close to Him. We need to hold His hand through all that we face whether we think we can go it alone. He is there to help us, guide us, give us wisdom in all situations, circumstances. We need to remember He has promised a crown of life sweeter than life itself. My Lord is a strong, strong mighty tower. Here I am Lord, I am running through the door! I am taking refuge in You! Hold me, Lord! 

Thanks for taking time to read,

Time With Friends

Good Evening!! Hope you're having a good night with your families. I have been enjoying my evening with my family we decided to change things up by watching AFV. We are having some good laughs with one another. Not often do we all get the time to enjoy one another in the same room.  We are usually going this direction, and that and back again. Life can pull us away, but when we take the time even for a few minutes to make memories even if just laughing with each other. I love when my husband pays attention to my words even if I don't think he's heard me. That being said he was about to go upstairs but decided to come over to me. He started rubbing my shoulders then that became more like a massage. He rubbed my arms and massaged them. He then rubbed my neck and just talked to me. I loved it because he took the time to do it for one, but just the time to spend with me was special.

Today was filled with so many things... I was surprised with a pleasant call from a dear friend who also has OI. We were able to talk for a few minutes. Hopefully, we will be able to get another phone call in tomorrow or on Friday. I sometimes don't know how to take when my friends pick up my tone and know there's something wrong even if I don't tell them. I am glad that I have so many in my life and I am thankful for each part that they contribute to my life. I spent some time with my special friend today and I was blessed and I was glad that they came over. We had something that came on the news that tied in with what was going on around us as my friend and I said: "This is a God moment." I agree when God does that I thank Him for doing that - we know He's watching over us. I love when He brings someone into our life when we are facing a trial. The person doesn't know what is going on with us yet they say something and wonder sometimes why we give them a look. Sometimes they may take the time to ask or talk to us, other times they may not have the time to talk and walk away. We thank God for those moments because they are the moments that give us that "push" "the confidence to know that we will come out on the other side." 

The reason for the shirt. I was given this shirt from a dear sweet friend who is like a sister to me. She was just surfing the net came across this shirt. She said when she read it first she laughed out loud then said that's my sister to the T!! Ok, pun intended since it is a t-shirt. Aside from the sidetrack; she said that even through the trial of the Osteogenesis you still find the humor, the funny, the light side and this shirt just fits your personality. I read the shirt and said oh look it says "....only cooler" hmm, is that for those moments of snap, crackle..oops! She laughed so hard; we laughed together for a while then continued our conversation. Well, I should get going I have more to get done and write.

Thanks for Stopping by,