How do you do it? That is the everlasting question....

Good Afternoon Everyone! Hope you're all having a great day. I am here having a great day in spite of the ups and downs of our service provider. I am not complaining by any means. This has been going on since yesterday and fourteen of us are being affected. There have been several trucks and technicians up and down our street and cross streets trying to resolve the issues we've all been experiencing.

The first time this question was posed to me "How do you do it?" "How do you handle it all?" These are the two that have really been the top of the list of the many questions from friends, family, followers, study group friends and more. I had thought about what was said. I thought about how it was said. I thought about the way each of you looked when you asked me these questions. The concern on your faces when you'd be before me, the concern I heard over the phone when speaking with you. I really care about each of you. I appreciate that you're all concerned for me as well. Know that I am concerned for each of you and the challenges each of you face. No matter what they are. I think of each of you.

Those of you who are unaware of why I am bringing this question to light if you will. Please bear with me, but the reason for this question is because of the many surgical and other procedures I've had since the end of June this year. My elbow being number seven. The surgery on my elbow was to re-release the ulnar nerve as it was being compressed. We had tried therapy, but that was not relieving the compression. The surgeon stated that if it was not done soon I would eventually lose function of my hand. This I was not going to stand by and allow to happen. I thought about the surgery and what he told me needed to be done (yuck!), but that all aside. I knew that I would be much better in the end and able to do more. This is where my focus was; it was not on the surgery, the recovery or will I need therapy after this? None of that crossed my mind. What did cross my mind is how much better my hand would be after this is done. I should say hands because this same surgery needs to be performed on my right hand as well. I am thinking how much better I will be after everything is done. 

I am already feeling great even with all the events, surgeries and things I have had to deal with this summer. I know I'm much better going forward now than if I hadn't gone through these things. I'm not saying that in order for me to feel great I had to go through them that's far from the truth. I have been blessed that God brought me through each one of them and showed me much needed things and things that He just decided to show me. Some things He's shown me I shared with some of you because it was something that you needed. I thanked God for allowing the opportunity. 

When I spoke to each of you that came to me. I remember sitting with you or talking with you on the phone and saying "God, gives me the strength. He lets me know He's there. He has me where He means for me to be." Some of you gave me a funny look or asked: "how can you say that?" I can because I am more concerned for God's glory than for my relief. What I mean is that by my attitude, what God does in me means more than my relief does to me. How I handle, walk through, endure, face whatever word you want to use here for a challenge, situation, circumstance etc. I started thinking how can God be glorified in this situation. When I changed from that perspective my perspective on my current circumstance changed. Not that I was thinking negatively, because I wasn't. I was focusing on the early part of things like how will it be when I get home, can I do, will I be able to. I began to focus on how much better will I be after this? When you change your approach to things that come before you, your perspective is much different.

I found that in these challenges, things that I faced that God has a way of turning things into praise. I had a mass removed earlier this summer. This mass could have been something that could have consequences, but God changed that. This mass was not a small one by any means it was 3"x3"x 3/4" while the size caught both my husband and me off guard. We waited for that phone call and were given news that it was benign. This was turned to praise!! All the other things that were done also were turned to praise. All that said God leaves behind blessings and all the other things melt away kind of like wax in a candle if you look at it that way. Things are before us and when you light a candle the wax melts to a liquid and some evaporate away with the heat of the flame.

Some may say that I'm broken because of my Osteogenesis, but I say that I am not because God made me beautiful. You could say that I am beautifully broken. God allows Himself to shine through me with all that talk to me. I will not tell you that I have Osteogenesis when you talk to me. That is a speck of me, yes, it is part of who I am, but it doesn't identify me in any aspect. I will say one thing that seems to stand out about it is the whites of my eyes are a shade of blue. This seems to be the talk of ones that meet me or when I go to a doctor's office for an appointment. I have experienced in one visit literally 23 medical staff

that came into the room I was in and said the same thing in different ways just to catch a glimpse of my eyes. While I had fun making them dance around with their words to see my eyes I on the inside was laughing a bit it was almost like a game to me. Each one that came in had questions for me of their own, but then when I gave them questions some didn't know how to answer, but it allowed me the opportunity to talk about God to them. 

I just love when God opens those doors. Some you see coming and others are just so unexpected and by the time you realize it you're in and enjoying what the Lord is leading you to do. Onward to my next adventure. Thanks for stopping by!!

Grace & Peace,

Low Point to High Point.....How Will You Make Your Day?

Good Afternoon my OI Friends!! I hope you are having a great Sunday afternoon. I have been thinking about this past week. I have recently had two surgeries on June 27th, 2018. The first was an umbilical hernia repair. The second was to remove some cartilage and a "small" tissue mass that turned out to not be so small. This mass was 3"x3"x3/4" turns out it is benign, Praise God for that! A surprise to us was that I did not need to stay overnight in the hospital or the outpatient surgery center. This was surprising because we thought seeing I was having two surgeries it would be at least an overnight.

Let me talk to you about something. I had some distractions, some discouragements and dealt with some unprofessional medical care while recovering. This is the low point that I spoke of; how I chose to handle it was another. While I could have let it continue to pull me down, cause anger within, strife between my husband and I because he too was angry with the care received. We both chose not to let this ruin our time, our day together. I know my husband was pulled from his work because I am not able to drive as yet from the surgeries. We had another appointment later the same day to go to. We were a little hesitant, but we knew this was also something that needed attention. This second appointment was with my orthopedic. This was for IR Imaging Guided Needle, Drain Procedure With Radiology for my hip. The attention to detail with three medical professionals, two doctors, and a nurse. All three went above and beyond. We give glory to God and also made a point to let the facility where we were know just how professional and above and beyond these three were. Praise God! 

This second appointment was our high point of the day, this is how we chose to end our day. We talked about this and allowed the effects of this appointment to change our moods from that first appointment of the day. This is what I mean by how we can make our days. Will we choose to allow one bad experience to make that how we choose to respond to the day or will we allow other experiences throughout our day make how we choose to respond to our day?? I choose the latter of the two because why let one thing make how your day is. Why let that affect you in such a way. How we choose to respond to things really can affect the outcome. I say that to say this; if we choose to see something negatively we will think negatively and our mood and speech will follow. If we choose to be positive in how we respond to something that may be negative the end result will be much different. Our perspective will be much different. I know my perspective on some recent medical trials that I have faced had I been negative I wouldn't have seen the great things God has before me. I am glad that while I was a bit thrown, a bit scared, had doubts that I gave them to the Lord and said this is Yours Lord, You've got this not me! I hope you can choose to see the positive in the negative things when it may only so dim at the time. I was surprised at how I responded to the negativity that I was receiving from one medical professional. I responded by at the end of the visit reaching for his hand; telling him that it was difficult just in my coming to him to tell me what he fixed is doing the same again. I didn't know if it was what he had done, or if it was something new. As it turned out, it was two things that were new. I also before leaving his office shook his hand and gave him a hug. Honestly, when I went in there I was pretty angry with him and was going to not see him again if I could. God changed that by my giving this medical professional a hug. I will see him again if needed even though he wasn't so professional with me. I do have a follow up with him next month. His office did state that I could cancel. I almost did, but having a suture that neither has dissolved or fallen away I decided against the cancel of that said appointment. We will see where I am as it draws closer if that suture has indeed fallen away or dissolved as expected if I return to his office. In some ways, I am hoping that it doesn't so he sees that my not canceling was cautionary and with good reason.

Have a wonderful day my friends! I will be writing soon. 

Grace & Peace,

The Storms, The Red Seas we face in our lives.....

Good Afternoon, Everyone! I apologize for not posting more often than I have. I have something that I want to share with you that has been on my heart for quite some time. I want to speak to you about The Red Sea as we read about in the Bible, Exodus 14-15:2. The Israelites were being led from Egypt. They asked many questions about why. Things like "Weren't there enough graves in Egypt?" "What have you done to us?" "Why did you make us leave Egypt?" These were the wrong questions. Hear me out before you take me down. I mean when we are put in a difficult situation, a struggle, a challenge in our lives don't we ask questions like "How quickly can I fix this?" "How can I get out of this mess?" Now, do you see what I mean by the wrong questions? In this chapter, there are ten strategies that God gives us to get us through difficult times.

Now for me to open up. Two years ago when I had chest surgery I had been dealing with issues with my chest, by that time ten years plus. God brought my current surgeon to me to fix the problem with my chest. The examination didn't take long and we had a plan for surgery. My focus at this time was I was focused on my chest and the issue at hand, the pain, the limitations, the frustration of it not being resolved. When something else would come up I was focused on that and would talk about it. I would post it on social media because I wanted the help and prayers from friends and family. This is what I was thinking I was doing, but it was brought to my attention that I was not. I was essentially drawing attention to myself because of what was going on. I was focused on every issue that was coming up. I was living from one thing to the next even though when asked I said I was fine. I can live without going from one thing to the next. In reality, I wasn't.

Time has changed. Back to the Israelites and the Egyptians. Remember how much the Israelites argued that they were brought out of Egypt. The Lord will fight for you just as HE fought for the Israelites. When we think of our red seas, our struggles in our lives, we may feel that we are overwhelmed, that we can't move on, can't move forward, but indeed we can. The same God who led the Israelites out of Egypt can lead you out of your red sea. Now when I am facing something I go right to the Word of God. I get into this chapter of the Bible. I will tell you the strategies as I write this post to you. Please bear with me as it may be a bit long.

When a trial, a red sea comes in your life know that God means for you to be there. Now I know that doesn't seem fair, but hear me out. Some circumstances are beyond our control. Worry is a small trickle of fear that meanders through the mind, cutting a channel into which all other thoughts flow. Essentially, worry is putting a question mark where God has placed a period. When we face things in our lives you could say that it's God testing our faith, leading us into hardship, teaching us wisdom, showing us His ways. God allows these things in our lives, sometimes they can seem to be more than we can bear, but Christ can bear them. We need to be more concerned for God's glory than for our relief. How does that sound to you? Is that something you're comfortable with? Can you do that easily? Remember my talking about the questions in the beginning? When we let God be glorified how quickly our perspective changes. Don't you agree? When we are in a trial, red sea we need to acknowledge our enemy (Satan), but keep our eyes on the Lord. How easily Satan can enter into our lives, causing disruption and chaos. How he can get in there sneakily and by the time we recognize that he's there it's sometimes too late because he's already caused disruption. When we rebuff the enemy in the name of the Lord, when we stand our ground, when we resist his wiles and claim the victory of faith, when we shake off discouragement in the name of the Lord, Satan falls from heaven faster than lightning. Every time we resist the slightest temptation, we honor God. We have to remember to Pray! That is a big key in any red sea that we face. A hard part for me is staying calm and confident, and give God time to work. Is that easy for you? Is it easy to wait on God for answers? We live in a quick fix, do it now, have it now type world don't we. When we wait on God and give Him time to work, I can tell you that the blessing you receive is much larger. You see more that He has for you. With this, I remember slow and steady wins the race while fast and thoughtless is a set up for setbacks. How much time do we have for setbacks? Do we have time to spend on them? Would it be much easier to wait and be patient while God works in our favor to help us through our red sea? When we are unsure, we need to just take the next logical step by faith. God doesn't give us guidance for two steps ahead, but He does give us guidance for the next step ahead. We need to take that step and trust Him for the next and the next. We need to envision God's enveloping presence. How can we do that...we can affirm His nearness in our hearts, we need to visualize God's presence in our minds, we can access God's nearness in prayer, and we can reflect His presence in our demeanor. Now another that we need to do is trust God to deliver us in His own unique way. His way may not be the way that we expect. His way may be with a deeper level of intervention than we can discern; in the end, it will be better for us, though for a time we may be perplexed. I view my trials, my red seas, the challenges in my life as faith builders for the future. You ask how, well, I will tell you. When someone in your life is facing something difficult you may be able to share, enlighten them how God helped you through your "red sea." Another is claiming the promises of God in every situation, knowing that God has the power to do what He has promised.

Allow me to take a minute to tell you how I deal with red seas come into my life. I now have a different perspective when dealing with them. My focus is much different. I recently felt the same things happening in my chest as the last time. I first did question why? Why Lord? I know my chest was healed before. How can this happen again? I quickly got off of that focus because I was asking the wrong questions. I started thinking that the Lord means for me to be where I am. I trusted Him and allowed Him to take me through this red sea. He has and this red sea is not finished yet. I have a follow-up visit with my surgeon on Thursday from my recent surgery.  Not all of what was planned for surgery was completed. What my surgeon did do was repair a hernia, the cartilage and a small tissue mass were removed. The small tissue mass was then sent off for evaluation whether benign or malignant. The results returned and the small tissue mass is benign. I praise God for all that He has done with this so far.  Due to the chest still popping and moving as it did prior to surgery tells me that this is not over. It tells me that God has more for me to do. God wants me to keep moving forward and I am and will continue to do so. People who have stopped to see me, people who have spoken to me via the phone have said that I do not sound like I just went through two surgeries. I said yes, and I give God the glory for that. I have to continue to rebuff Satan in the name of Jesus. I have to stand my ground. I have to resist his wiles and claim the victory of faith. When I shake off the discouragement in the name of the Lord, Satan falls from heaven fast than lightning. (hehe, I know this is bad, but that would be a sight to see.) I said all that to say that when things happen I don't jump on social media or on the phone to talk about what is happening. I jump into the Word of God and spend time with Him. I spend time in prayer. I don't allow what's happening to take over my focus. I will leave you with my last point.

Finally, I finish with this. Don't forget to praise Him. One of the reasons God puts us in tough situations or allows us to be there is to give us the opportunity to praise Him. I hope you stayed with me as long as this post was. I want you to know it was heartfelt. I am here for you, feel free to reach out to me.

Grace & Peace,

The Struggle is Real? How do you handle struggle? Do you hope someone will pull you out?

Good Sunday Morning Everyone! I hope you're having a blessed Sunday. It's been snowing here for fifty-five plus hours. We are pretty buried in where I am. This is something we generally deal with, but not snowing for that long of a period straight. It's been interesting and with subzero temperatures, it's been a challenge for our son and me. 

Now for the meat of this entry. I said the struggle is real. How do you handle your struggle? Do you wish or hope someone would pull you out so you don't have to deal with the struggle? I put this picture of the monarch butterfly up for this reason. When we find a cocoon we want to grab it or bring it inside when we should just leave it where it is. We can go back to it and check on it. This butterfly is intact in the first cocoon, it's fully encapsulated, fully protected. The butterfly is safe. The next one shows that the butterfly is starting to emerge from its cocoon now; it's vulnerable at this stage. The butterfly is weak, its wings are weak, its legs are weak. The butterfly is not ready for flight as of yet. We may come upon this butterfly and want to help it, but we shouldn't. The third one the butterfly has made progress and is now outside the cocoon. Still too weak for flight. The wings are not ready for flight even though the butterfly is out of the cocoon now. The fourth one the butterfly is out and the wings are expanding a little more as they're drying and preparing for flight. Now the fifth one the butterfly is ready for flight; the wings are expanded and dried, the legs are stronger. This butterfly will take off and survive.

I know our struggles are very real, very painful, very deep at times. We may not handle struggle well. We may look for that one to pull us out of our struggle to make things much easier for us. Is that what we really need or should look for? God can pull us from our struggles, but sometimes He doesn't instead He comes alongside us and walks the struggle with us to help us along the journey. That in the end, we would be like that last butterfly. We would be stronger, able to "fly" handle the next struggle better and know what we need to get through. He will teach us the things we need, give us the tools we need to face the struggles better that we come out closer to him and more confident in ourselves.

I know this journey that I am now facing, the infusions, the tests, the broken bones that may come, the surgical things that may come along isn't going to be an easy one. I can say that I am better prepared because God has taught me, shown me so many things to get through each of these struggles as I walk my journey with OI. So the question remains. How will you handle your struggle? Will you have someone pull you out or will you ask them to come alongside you and help you through it to make you stronger? Will you rely on God more to help you through the struggle? If you need me you can always contact me. Have a wonderful Sunday.

Grace & Peace,

Moving Forward....Watching God put things together just the way He wants to

Hi Everyone, hope you're staying warm in these brutal cold temperatures. I know we are staying warm. My husband is a great provider in that he's running our pellet stove to keep us warm and he brought food in unexpected yesterday. I was so glad that he did. I am putting meals together with what he brought. He does so much and tries so hard to provide for our family. We really appreciate all that he does for us. 

Now to get onto what's going on since my last appointment. I had blood work drawn when I was there last. I received the results this morning and I am not pleased to see where the numbers lay. They're low in areas where they need to be higher and those that need to be low are high. I know that after the bone density next Wednesday my doctor will be scheduling the infusions. 

No this doesn't surprise me. I have learned in the years since being diagnosed when I don't feel right, the bone pain is increasing that means one of two things that my calcium is high or that my Vitamin D is bottoming out. In this case, both are down. I know this is not a "snap of the fingers" situation. I know God can do a snap of the fingers and things are fine -- He's choosing a slow path that will draw me to lean harder, press harder into Him. This is His path, not mine. I have to learn to rest with Him and listen, be alert to His direction, how I handle this as the days go, the hiccups that may come along the way.

As I get more updates I will update here. Have a great day everyone!!!

Grace & Peace,

The wait is over! The time has come.....

Good Morning, Everyone! Today is the day we get the results of all the tests. I am praying for the best. I know that God has brought me from mountain to mountain, level to level in my walk with Him. The journey hasn't always been easy, but what comes out of the challenges, the miracles, the amazing things that I have experienced in my life that the Lord has brought me through outweigh the burden, the fear, the tears, the sleepless times, the times with pain by far!

This is how I am going to roll with what's coming at me today. I will be wearing my OI (Osteogenesis Imperfecta) shirt that a bestie gave to me. I love you Jenn, (Goose). She bought me this shirt because she knows my humor and how I roll with things. She has known with this disease that both our son and I face daily hasn't been an easy one especially in the beginning.  She and others know how torn I was. How I was so afraid that our son was going to die, what do I do now? Where do I turn? How do I get information on this disease? Is there information on this? What are the treatments? How harmful are they? These are just a few of the thoughts running through my and my husband's minds at the time of diagnosis. Never did we see that within a few months I too would be diagnosed with Osteogenesis. I was still scared as I was still learning, yet I was now building my knowledge base. I was building my support system. I was gaining friendships that the Lord was putting me in touch with strong Christian friends. 

One of my best friends lives in New Hampshire. Keith and his beautiful wife Lisa have been great inspirations, great information providers, a great support team for our son and I when we'd face infusions, tests, hiccups along the road of OI we'd struggle through. The phone calls that would come and calls I'd make to them they would provide answers if they had them, prayer and most of all encouragement.  When calls would come sometimes that support would be me giving it to Keith through his challenges with the OI. Giving encouragement and guidance on things that he's facing as well. This is how we roll through this day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year. 

I won't lie and say I am fine with the appointment coming today to get results. I am not fine, I am a bit nervous, and not sure I am ready for the words the doctor will express to me today. I know that I have to move forward. I have to be ready for the diagnosis, is it going to be a severe cycle of the current type of OI I have now? Is it going to be a more severe Type of OI? Is it going to be cancer? How strong am I? I am blessed with many caring friends and I am glad they're in my life and I try to be as caring and there for each and every one of my friends even if they're states away from me. One of my great friends gave me this message prior to my leaving for my appointment. "Prayers the results are going to be not what you think, but a way to make improvements. I feel very confident in your results."

I am now home from the appointment. The appointment took much longer than expected. I arrived and was checked in by 1:20 pm had my appointment with my doctor and finished out with going to the lab for more blood work. By the time I arrived home it was after 5 pm. Now an overview of the appointment. My doctor began by thoroughly going over my record with me making certain all the information was correct; any updates or concerns were added in so that proper attention can be given or directed for that specific concern. After this was done we discussed the results of recent testings and bloodwork. I was given the information that I have been waiting for since before Christmas. I must say first off I was told the results do not show cancer. I praise God for that result, AMEN!! The next concern was is this a more severe type of OI (Osteogenesis Imperfecta); the next result says No, this is not a more severe form of OI. I praise God for this result, AMEN! Now for the rest of the results. I was told that between bones and muscle pain I am in pain 97% of my body. That doesn't sound good, but there is a way to help this and we are on that to get the pain reduced and stopped. They did more bloodwork to make certain nothing was missed. The doctor did say that I was in a more severe state with my OI. I was also advised about Reclast infusions and the benefits that they give.  I am now scheduled for a bone density scan for next week. When the bloodwork results return and the scan is done we will set schedule for the Reclast infusions. I am also being scheduled with a Rheumatologist and an Autoimmune Specialist.

The infusions are going to be a hard rough road, BUT I am going forward and will deal with the harsh side effects as they come. They may knock me, but I refuse to let them break me!

I love when friends send me encouraging messages. They have really blessed me with all that I have had coming at me in this. I will leave you with those encouraging words. 

"You may feel defeated. But, you are more than a conqueror! You may feel cast down. But you are victorious in Christ Jesus! You may not understand why so much is happening in your life that you don't understand....BUT, for every struggle, for every disappointment you had, for every time you felt alone, for every friend that left you God has a turnaround for you!" *this is from INSTAGOD MINISTRIES

"God already solved your eternity problem, why wouldn't He solve your temporary problems?"

"Will keep you in my prayers. Wish there was more that I could do."

"Good Luck Kiddo... I hope they don't make you too sick and your bones get strong. Sorry, I hope the treatments work."

"OK. GOOD FOR YOU! Our God has taken care of you. HE has steadied your emotions; HE has saved you from cancer; HE has given the doctors a way for treatment; HE will be with you throughout this difficult time. RED SEA RULES will prevail! Again--has your front, your back, both sides and everything in between -- you are in better hands than Allstate!!!!"

"This is great Leah that it isn't cancer or another form of O.I. I hope your other visits go well and they can help you."

"I was wondering how it went. Will continue to pray."

"I'm so glad it's not cancer Leah. I'm hoping infusions will help you. Keep your chin up Leah <3"

Thanks for hanging out. I hope you've enjoyed your visit. I will post as I go forward with treatments and let you know how things are going. I will now leave you with something fun. This was at my doctor's office. 

Grace & Peace,