How do you do it? That is the everlasting question....

Good Afternoon Everyone! Hope you're all having a great day. I am here having a great day in spite of the ups and downs of our service provider. I am not complaining by any means. This has been going on since yesterday and fourteen of us are being affected. There have been several trucks and technicians up and down our street and cross streets trying to resolve the issues we've all been experiencing.

The first time this question was posed to me "How do you do it?" "How do you handle it all?" These are the two that have really been the top of the list of the many questions from friends, family, followers, study group friends and more. I had thought about what was said. I thought about how it was said. I thought about the way each of you looked when you asked me these questions. The concern on your faces when you'd be before me, the concern I heard over the phone when speaking with you. I really care about each of you. I appreciate that you're all concerned for me as well. Know that I am concerned for each of you and the challenges each of you face. No matter what they are. I think of each of you.

Those of you who are unaware of why I am bringing this question to light if you will. Please bear with me, but the reason for this question is because of the many surgical and other procedures I've had since the end of June this year. My elbow being number seven. The surgery on my elbow was to re-release the ulnar nerve as it was being compressed. We had tried therapy, but that was not relieving the compression. The surgeon stated that if it was not done soon I would eventually lose function of my hand. This I was not going to stand by and allow to happen. I thought about the surgery and what he told me needed to be done (yuck!), but that all aside. I knew that I would be much better in the end and able to do more. This is where my focus was; it was not on the surgery, the recovery or will I need therapy after this? None of that crossed my mind. What did cross my mind is how much better my hand would be after this is done. I should say hands because this same surgery needs to be performed on my right hand as well. I am thinking how much better I will be after everything is done. 

I am already feeling great even with all the events, surgeries and things I have had to deal with this summer. I know I'm much better going forward now than if I hadn't gone through these things. I'm not saying that in order for me to feel great I had to go through them that's far from the truth. I have been blessed that God brought me through each one of them and showed me much needed things and things that He just decided to show me. Some things He's shown me I shared with some of you because it was something that you needed. I thanked God for allowing the opportunity. 

When I spoke to each of you that came to me. I remember sitting with you or talking with you on the phone and saying "God, gives me the strength. He lets me know He's there. He has me where He means for me to be." Some of you gave me a funny look or asked: "how can you say that?" I can because I am more concerned for God's glory than for my relief. What I mean is that by my attitude, what God does in me means more than my relief does to me. How I handle, walk through, endure, face whatever word you want to use here for a challenge, situation, circumstance etc. I started thinking how can God be glorified in this situation. When I changed from that perspective my perspective on my current circumstance changed. Not that I was thinking negatively, because I wasn't. I was focusing on the early part of things like how will it be when I get home, can I do, will I be able to. I began to focus on how much better will I be after this? When you change your approach to things that come before you, your perspective is much different.

I found that in these challenges, things that I faced that God has a way of turning things into praise. I had a mass removed earlier this summer. This mass could have been something that could have consequences, but God changed that. This mass was not a small one by any means it was 3"x3"x 3/4" while the size caught both my husband and me off guard. We waited for that phone call and were given news that it was benign. This was turned to praise!! All the other things that were done also were turned to praise. All that said God leaves behind blessings and all the other things melt away kind of like wax in a candle if you look at it that way. Things are before us and when you light a candle the wax melts to a liquid and some evaporate away with the heat of the flame.

Some may say that I'm broken because of my Osteogenesis, but I say that I am not because God made me beautiful. You could say that I am beautifully broken. God allows Himself to shine through me with all that talk to me. I will not tell you that I have Osteogenesis when you talk to me. That is a speck of me, yes, it is part of who I am, but it doesn't identify me in any aspect. I will say one thing that seems to stand out about it is the whites of my eyes are a shade of blue. This seems to be the talk of ones that meet me or when I go to a doctor's office for an appointment. I have experienced in one visit literally 23 medical staff

that came into the room I was in and said the same thing in different ways just to catch a glimpse of my eyes. While I had fun making them dance around with their words to see my eyes I on the inside was laughing a bit it was almost like a game to me. Each one that came in had questions for me of their own, but then when I gave them questions some didn't know how to answer, but it allowed me the opportunity to talk about God to them. 

I just love when God opens those doors. Some you see coming and others are just so unexpected and by the time you realize it you're in and enjoying what the Lord is leading you to do. Onward to my next adventure. Thanks for stopping by!!

Grace & Peace,

Low Point to High Point.....How Will You Make Your Day?

Good Afternoon my OI Friends!! I hope you are having a great Sunday afternoon. I have been thinking about this past week. I have recently had two surgeries on June 27th, 2018. The first was an umbilical hernia repair. The second was to remove some cartilage and a "small" tissue mass that turned out to not be so small. This mass was 3"x3"x3/4" turns out it is benign, Praise God for that! A surprise to us was that I did not need to stay overnight in the hospital or the outpatient surgery center. This was surprising because we thought seeing I was having two surgeries it would be at least an overnight.

Let me talk to you about something. I had some distractions, some discouragements and dealt with some unprofessional medical care while recovering. This is the low point that I spoke of; how I chose to handle it was another. While I could have let it continue to pull me down, cause anger within, strife between my husband and I because he too was angry with the care received. We both chose not to let this ruin our time, our day together. I know my husband was pulled from his work because I am not able to drive as yet from the surgeries. We had another appointment later the same day to go to. We were a little hesitant, but we knew this was also something that needed attention. This second appointment was with my orthopedic. This was for IR Imaging Guided Needle, Drain Procedure With Radiology for my hip. The attention to detail with three medical professionals, two doctors, and a nurse. All three went above and beyond. We give glory to God and also made a point to let the facility where we were know just how professional and above and beyond these three were. Praise God! 

This second appointment was our high point of the day, this is how we chose to end our day. We talked about this and allowed the effects of this appointment to change our moods from that first appointment of the day. This is what I mean by how we can make our days. Will we choose to allow one bad experience to make that how we choose to respond to the day or will we allow other experiences throughout our day make how we choose to respond to our day?? I choose the latter of the two because why let one thing make how your day is. Why let that affect you in such a way. How we choose to respond to things really can affect the outcome. I say that to say this; if we choose to see something negatively we will think negatively and our mood and speech will follow. If we choose to be positive in how we respond to something that may be negative the end result will be much different. Our perspective will be much different. I know my perspective on some recent medical trials that I have faced had I been negative I wouldn't have seen the great things God has before me. I am glad that while I was a bit thrown, a bit scared, had doubts that I gave them to the Lord and said this is Yours Lord, You've got this not me! I hope you can choose to see the positive in the negative things when it may only so dim at the time. I was surprised at how I responded to the negativity that I was receiving from one medical professional. I responded by at the end of the visit reaching for his hand; telling him that it was difficult just in my coming to him to tell me what he fixed is doing the same again. I didn't know if it was what he had done, or if it was something new. As it turned out, it was two things that were new. I also before leaving his office shook his hand and gave him a hug. Honestly, when I went in there I was pretty angry with him and was going to not see him again if I could. God changed that by my giving this medical professional a hug. I will see him again if needed even though he wasn't so professional with me. I do have a follow up with him next month. His office did state that I could cancel. I almost did, but having a suture that neither has dissolved or fallen away I decided against the cancel of that said appointment. We will see where I am as it draws closer if that suture has indeed fallen away or dissolved as expected if I return to his office. In some ways, I am hoping that it doesn't so he sees that my not canceling was cautionary and with good reason.

Have a wonderful day my friends! I will be writing soon. 

Grace & Peace,

The Storms, The Red Seas we face in our lives.....

Good Afternoon, Everyone! I apologize for not posting more often than I have. I have something that I want to share with you that has been on my heart for quite some time. I want to speak to you about The Red Sea as we read about in the Bible, Exodus 14-15:2. The Israelites were being led from Egypt. They asked many questions about why. Things like "Weren't there enough graves in Egypt?" "What have you done to us?" "Why did you make us leave Egypt?" These were the wrong questions. Hear me out before you take me down. I mean when we are put in a difficult situation, a struggle, a challenge in our lives don't we ask questions like "How quickly can I fix this?" "How can I get out of this mess?" Now, do you see what I mean by the wrong questions? In this chapter, there are ten strategies that God gives us to get us through difficult times.

Now for me to open up. Two years ago when I had chest surgery I had been dealing with issues with my chest, by that time ten years plus. God brought my current surgeon to me to fix the problem with my chest. The examination didn't take long and we had a plan for surgery. My focus at this time was I was focused on my chest and the issue at hand, the pain, the limitations, the frustration of it not being resolved. When something else would come up I was focused on that and would talk about it. I would post it on social media because I wanted the help and prayers from friends and family. This is what I was thinking I was doing, but it was brought to my attention that I was not. I was essentially drawing attention to myself because of what was going on. I was focused on every issue that was coming up. I was living from one thing to the next even though when asked I said I was fine. I can live without going from one thing to the next. In reality, I wasn't.

Time has changed. Back to the Israelites and the Egyptians. Remember how much the Israelites argued that they were brought out of Egypt. The Lord will fight for you just as HE fought for the Israelites. When we think of our red seas, our struggles in our lives, we may feel that we are overwhelmed, that we can't move on, can't move forward, but indeed we can. The same God who led the Israelites out of Egypt can lead you out of your red sea. Now when I am facing something I go right to the Word of God. I get into this chapter of the Bible. I will tell you the strategies as I write this post to you. Please bear with me as it may be a bit long.

When a trial, a red sea comes in your life know that God means for you to be there. Now I know that doesn't seem fair, but hear me out. Some circumstances are beyond our control. Worry is a small trickle of fear that meanders through the mind, cutting a channel into which all other thoughts flow. Essentially, worry is putting a question mark where God has placed a period. When we face things in our lives you could say that it's God testing our faith, leading us into hardship, teaching us wisdom, showing us His ways. God allows these things in our lives, sometimes they can seem to be more than we can bear, but Christ can bear them. We need to be more concerned for God's glory than for our relief. How does that sound to you? Is that something you're comfortable with? Can you do that easily? Remember my talking about the questions in the beginning? When we let God be glorified how quickly our perspective changes. Don't you agree? When we are in a trial, red sea we need to acknowledge our enemy (Satan), but keep our eyes on the Lord. How easily Satan can enter into our lives, causing disruption and chaos. How he can get in there sneakily and by the time we recognize that he's there it's sometimes too late because he's already caused disruption. When we rebuff the enemy in the name of the Lord, when we stand our ground, when we resist his wiles and claim the victory of faith, when we shake off discouragement in the name of the Lord, Satan falls from heaven faster than lightning. Every time we resist the slightest temptation, we honor God. We have to remember to Pray! That is a big key in any red sea that we face. A hard part for me is staying calm and confident, and give God time to work. Is that easy for you? Is it easy to wait on God for answers? We live in a quick fix, do it now, have it now type world don't we. When we wait on God and give Him time to work, I can tell you that the blessing you receive is much larger. You see more that He has for you. With this, I remember slow and steady wins the race while fast and thoughtless is a set up for setbacks. How much time do we have for setbacks? Do we have time to spend on them? Would it be much easier to wait and be patient while God works in our favor to help us through our red sea? When we are unsure, we need to just take the next logical step by faith. God doesn't give us guidance for two steps ahead, but He does give us guidance for the next step ahead. We need to take that step and trust Him for the next and the next. We need to envision God's enveloping presence. How can we do that...we can affirm His nearness in our hearts, we need to visualize God's presence in our minds, we can access God's nearness in prayer, and we can reflect His presence in our demeanor. Now another that we need to do is trust God to deliver us in His own unique way. His way may not be the way that we expect. His way may be with a deeper level of intervention than we can discern; in the end, it will be better for us, though for a time we may be perplexed. I view my trials, my red seas, the challenges in my life as faith builders for the future. You ask how, well, I will tell you. When someone in your life is facing something difficult you may be able to share, enlighten them how God helped you through your "red sea." Another is claiming the promises of God in every situation, knowing that God has the power to do what He has promised.

Allow me to take a minute to tell you how I deal with red seas come into my life. I now have a different perspective when dealing with them. My focus is much different. I recently felt the same things happening in my chest as the last time. I first did question why? Why Lord? I know my chest was healed before. How can this happen again? I quickly got off of that focus because I was asking the wrong questions. I started thinking that the Lord means for me to be where I am. I trusted Him and allowed Him to take me through this red sea. He has and this red sea is not finished yet. I have a follow-up visit with my surgeon on Thursday from my recent surgery.  Not all of what was planned for surgery was completed. What my surgeon did do was repair a hernia, the cartilage and a small tissue mass were removed. The small tissue mass was then sent off for evaluation whether benign or malignant. The results returned and the small tissue mass is benign. I praise God for all that He has done with this so far.  Due to the chest still popping and moving as it did prior to surgery tells me that this is not over. It tells me that God has more for me to do. God wants me to keep moving forward and I am and will continue to do so. People who have stopped to see me, people who have spoken to me via the phone have said that I do not sound like I just went through two surgeries. I said yes, and I give God the glory for that. I have to continue to rebuff Satan in the name of Jesus. I have to stand my ground. I have to resist his wiles and claim the victory of faith. When I shake off the discouragement in the name of the Lord, Satan falls from heaven fast than lightning. (hehe, I know this is bad, but that would be a sight to see.) I said all that to say that when things happen I don't jump on social media or on the phone to talk about what is happening. I jump into the Word of God and spend time with Him. I spend time in prayer. I don't allow what's happening to take over my focus. I will leave you with my last point.

Finally, I finish with this. Don't forget to praise Him. One of the reasons God puts us in tough situations or allows us to be there is to give us the opportunity to praise Him. I hope you stayed with me as long as this post was. I want you to know it was heartfelt. I am here for you, feel free to reach out to me.

Grace & Peace,

The Struggle is Real? How do you handle struggle? Do you hope someone will pull you out?

Good Sunday Morning Everyone! I hope you're having a blessed Sunday. It's been snowing here for fifty-five plus hours. We are pretty buried in where I am. This is something we generally deal with, but not snowing for that long of a period straight. It's been interesting and with subzero temperatures, it's been a challenge for our son and me. 

Now for the meat of this entry. I said the struggle is real. How do you handle your struggle? Do you wish or hope someone would pull you out so you don't have to deal with the struggle? I put this picture of the monarch butterfly up for this reason. When we find a cocoon we want to grab it or bring it inside when we should just leave it where it is. We can go back to it and check on it. This butterfly is intact in the first cocoon, it's fully encapsulated, fully protected. The butterfly is safe. The next one shows that the butterfly is starting to emerge from its cocoon now; it's vulnerable at this stage. The butterfly is weak, its wings are weak, its legs are weak. The butterfly is not ready for flight as of yet. We may come upon this butterfly and want to help it, but we shouldn't. The third one the butterfly has made progress and is now outside the cocoon. Still too weak for flight. The wings are not ready for flight even though the butterfly is out of the cocoon now. The fourth one the butterfly is out and the wings are expanding a little more as they're drying and preparing for flight. Now the fifth one the butterfly is ready for flight; the wings are expanded and dried, the legs are stronger. This butterfly will take off and survive.

I know our struggles are very real, very painful, very deep at times. We may not handle struggle well. We may look for that one to pull us out of our struggle to make things much easier for us. Is that what we really need or should look for? God can pull us from our struggles, but sometimes He doesn't instead He comes alongside us and walks the struggle with us to help us along the journey. That in the end, we would be like that last butterfly. We would be stronger, able to "fly" handle the next struggle better and know what we need to get through. He will teach us the things we need, give us the tools we need to face the struggles better that we come out closer to him and more confident in ourselves.

I know this journey that I am now facing, the infusions, the tests, the broken bones that may come, the surgical things that may come along isn't going to be an easy one. I can say that I am better prepared because God has taught me, shown me so many things to get through each of these struggles as I walk my journey with OI. So the question remains. How will you handle your struggle? Will you have someone pull you out or will you ask them to come alongside you and help you through it to make you stronger? Will you rely on God more to help you through the struggle? If you need me you can always contact me. Have a wonderful Sunday.

Grace & Peace,

Moving Forward....Watching God put things together just the way He wants to

Hi Everyone, hope you're staying warm in these brutal cold temperatures. I know we are staying warm. My husband is a great provider in that he's running our pellet stove to keep us warm and he brought food in unexpected yesterday. I was so glad that he did. I am putting meals together with what he brought. He does so much and tries so hard to provide for our family. We really appreciate all that he does for us. 

Now to get onto what's going on since my last appointment. I had blood work drawn when I was there last. I received the results this morning and I am not pleased to see where the numbers lay. They're low in areas where they need to be higher and those that need to be low are high. I know that after the bone density next Wednesday my doctor will be scheduling the infusions. 

No this doesn't surprise me. I have learned in the years since being diagnosed when I don't feel right, the bone pain is increasing that means one of two things that my calcium is high or that my Vitamin D is bottoming out. In this case, both are down. I know this is not a "snap of the fingers" situation. I know God can do a snap of the fingers and things are fine -- He's choosing a slow path that will draw me to lean harder, press harder into Him. This is His path, not mine. I have to learn to rest with Him and listen, be alert to His direction, how I handle this as the days go, the hiccups that may come along the way.

As I get more updates I will update here. Have a great day everyone!!!

Grace & Peace,

The wait is over! The time has come.....

Good Morning, Everyone! Today is the day we get the results of all the tests. I am praying for the best. I know that God has brought me from mountain to mountain, level to level in my walk with Him. The journey hasn't always been easy, but what comes out of the challenges, the miracles, the amazing things that I have experienced in my life that the Lord has brought me through outweigh the burden, the fear, the tears, the sleepless times, the times with pain by far!

This is how I am going to roll with what's coming at me today. I will be wearing my OI (Osteogenesis Imperfecta) shirt that a bestie gave to me. I love you Jenn, (Goose). She bought me this shirt because she knows my humor and how I roll with things. She has known with this disease that both our son and I face daily hasn't been an easy one especially in the beginning.  She and others know how torn I was. How I was so afraid that our son was going to die, what do I do now? Where do I turn? How do I get information on this disease? Is there information on this? What are the treatments? How harmful are they? These are just a few of the thoughts running through my and my husband's minds at the time of diagnosis. Never did we see that within a few months I too would be diagnosed with Osteogenesis. I was still scared as I was still learning, yet I was now building my knowledge base. I was building my support system. I was gaining friendships that the Lord was putting me in touch with strong Christian friends. 

One of my best friends lives in New Hampshire. Keith and his beautiful wife Lisa have been great inspirations, great information providers, a great support team for our son and I when we'd face infusions, tests, hiccups along the road of OI we'd struggle through. The phone calls that would come and calls I'd make to them they would provide answers if they had them, prayer and most of all encouragement.  When calls would come sometimes that support would be me giving it to Keith through his challenges with the OI. Giving encouragement and guidance on things that he's facing as well. This is how we roll through this day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year. 

I won't lie and say I am fine with the appointment coming today to get results. I am not fine, I am a bit nervous, and not sure I am ready for the words the doctor will express to me today. I know that I have to move forward. I have to be ready for the diagnosis, is it going to be a severe cycle of the current type of OI I have now? Is it going to be a more severe Type of OI? Is it going to be cancer? How strong am I? I am blessed with many caring friends and I am glad they're in my life and I try to be as caring and there for each and every one of my friends even if they're states away from me. One of my great friends gave me this message prior to my leaving for my appointment. "Prayers the results are going to be not what you think, but a way to make improvements. I feel very confident in your results."

I am now home from the appointment. The appointment took much longer than expected. I arrived and was checked in by 1:20 pm had my appointment with my doctor and finished out with going to the lab for more blood work. By the time I arrived home it was after 5 pm. Now an overview of the appointment. My doctor began by thoroughly going over my record with me making certain all the information was correct; any updates or concerns were added in so that proper attention can be given or directed for that specific concern. After this was done we discussed the results of recent testings and bloodwork. I was given the information that I have been waiting for since before Christmas. I must say first off I was told the results do not show cancer. I praise God for that result, AMEN!! The next concern was is this a more severe type of OI (Osteogenesis Imperfecta); the next result says No, this is not a more severe form of OI. I praise God for this result, AMEN! Now for the rest of the results. I was told that between bones and muscle pain I am in pain 97% of my body. That doesn't sound good, but there is a way to help this and we are on that to get the pain reduced and stopped. They did more bloodwork to make certain nothing was missed. The doctor did say that I was in a more severe state with my OI. I was also advised about Reclast infusions and the benefits that they give.  I am now scheduled for a bone density scan for next week. When the bloodwork results return and the scan is done we will set schedule for the Reclast infusions. I am also being scheduled with a Rheumatologist and an Autoimmune Specialist.

The infusions are going to be a hard rough road, BUT I am going forward and will deal with the harsh side effects as they come. They may knock me, but I refuse to let them break me!

I love when friends send me encouraging messages. They have really blessed me with all that I have had coming at me in this. I will leave you with those encouraging words. 

"You may feel defeated. But, you are more than a conqueror! You may feel cast down. But you are victorious in Christ Jesus! You may not understand why so much is happening in your life that you don't understand....BUT, for every struggle, for every disappointment you had, for every time you felt alone, for every friend that left you God has a turnaround for you!" *this is from INSTAGOD MINISTRIES

"God already solved your eternity problem, why wouldn't He solve your temporary problems?"

"Will keep you in my prayers. Wish there was more that I could do."

"Good Luck Kiddo... I hope they don't make you too sick and your bones get strong. Sorry, I hope the treatments work."

"OK. GOOD FOR YOU! Our God has taken care of you. HE has steadied your emotions; HE has saved you from cancer; HE has given the doctors a way for treatment; HE will be with you throughout this difficult time. RED SEA RULES will prevail! Again--has your front, your back, both sides and everything in between -- you are in better hands than Allstate!!!!"

"This is great Leah that it isn't cancer or another form of O.I. I hope your other visits go well and they can help you."

"I was wondering how it went. Will continue to pray."

"I'm so glad it's not cancer Leah. I'm hoping infusions will help you. Keep your chin up Leah <3"

Thanks for hanging out. I hope you've enjoyed your visit. I will post as I go forward with treatments and let you know how things are going. I will now leave you with something fun. This was at my doctor's office. 

Grace & Peace,

God Never Says “Oops!”

Good Afternoon my OI family and friends. I hope you’re having a great weekend. I have been busy with family and my church family. I love my church family. Not only do we love the support of others when things get rough and they come alongside us in prayer, love, and support. That could come just from a word they speak to us in conversation, a verse they give us from the Word of God. This could also come with words of wisdom from them, maybe they have gone through something similar that you are now facing. Sometimes it’s words like “Try not to worry or let your imagination run wild until you get the results. Then you can proceed forward.” There are so many ways that we can come around one another. Do it for your friends and family even if you don’t think you have something you think they want to hear, you may be surprised. 

With this book, the entry is as follows. I will highlight the parts that pertain to my posting here. 

God Never Says “Oops!”

“You alone created my inner being. You knitted me together inside my mother.” —Psalm 139:13

What was God doing the day He knit Garrett’s lip in his mother's womb? Was He so busy solving other problems that he missed a few stitches? How easy for God to correct such a simple mistake. Perhaps God was so preoccupied putting extra stitches in Garrett’s beautiful heart that He forgot about his lip.

My grandson was born with a cleft lip and palate. Everyone was surprised. The ultrasound did not show it; the doctors and nurses even missed it at Garrett’s delivery. His mother was the first to notice as she attempted to nurse her son. Her hungry boy could not suck. As she gazed at her precious child, she was assured that God knit him perfectly in her womb. God did not say, “Oops! I missed a stitch.”

Nor was God surprised when Gabrielle was born with five broken bones. Brittle Bone Disease was the diagnosis. Confidently, her mother proclaimed, “Gabrielle is God’s good and perfect gift. God was in control on day one. I know God is in control of this. “God didn’t say “Oops!” when Gabrielle was born.

“Oops” isn’t in God’s vocabulary. He knows who, what, where, when and how. He also knows why. He knows that imperfect lips and brittle bones can lead us into His arms and sometimes, we need a good hug.

There were lots of hugs the day of the car accident. Careening into the creek, the car was totaled. Garrett’s family was shaken but unhurt. Big brother, Connor, had to be taken to the emergency room just to make sure he was all right. What a thrill for a two-year-old! His dream of riding in an ambulance (which he thought was a school bus) came true. When we arrived at the emergency room, my husband and I were relieved to see our daughter and her family intact. Connor excitedly jumped into his grandpa’s arms, gave him a big hug, and said, “It was fun, Grandpa!” Holding my daughter tightly, I whispered back, “God didn’t say ‘Oops.’ He knew all about it.”

When we go through the accidents of life, we need to jump into our Heavenly Father’s arms. And we hope when it is all over, we look back and say, “It was fun, God!” We will go for some rides in this life. We might as well go through them hugging Jesus. He isn’t too busy. He isn’t surprised, and He’s still in control.

Forgive me, Lord, for all of the times I may think You are saying, “Oops!” Cleanse my heart of doubt that You are in power. You created me, and You created this day. You know how it will end. There are no accidents in Your perfect plan.  Thank You that You are knitting everything together according to Your will and for my good. Hold me and carry me through my days.

Ok, now time for me to explain why I highlighted the parts I did. Let me preface this by saying this was a gift given by my church family. I saw the title and thought how great is this. A book for Moms. It said bathtime reflections for drained Moms. Yes, did you catch the pun there between the bathtime and the “drained” Moms? Enough of the puns now. I was busy with family a few days after Christmas and this book sitting there under our tree kept me looking at it. I need to read that book. I was able to finally take a few minutes to look at it and as I was going through the titles of the entries I stopped on this one, God Never Says “Oops!” Why you may ask. Well, as many or few of you in the OI family may have heard some of us express the words, I did a snap, crackle, oops! Yes, kind of like the cereal Snap, Crackle, Pop! We tend to say that when we break something or feel that we may have. I know our son and I have said it ourselves.

Now to continue. The part where the entry speaks about Gabrielle being born with five broken bones and the diagnosis being brittle bones disease. That connected to me right away as our Son and I both have brittle bone disease, better known as Osteogenesis Imperfecta. While the challenges that come with this disease can pull at our attitude. We can either let it impact our attitude and pull us down or we can choose not to let it pull our attitude down and soar with confidence and not let our minds run wild. I have had three back surgical procedures and some other procedures besides and the doctors seem to agree on the same thing when speaking with me. The words, that were spoken were after two of the surgical procedures. The doctors said they saw something concerning and they were also concerned with the number of visits to their office I was making because of the bone pain, the injuries that were occurring with no trauma involved. Also, the surgical staff spoke and showed me things on the special surgical X-ray machines they were using. I can tell you it’s really scary when you see your own bones and they are about transparent!! Then to hear they are degenerating (crumbling inside). This isn’t something good to hear. The words that came at me next stopped me in my tracks as if I could move to begin with I was just coming out of a surgical procedure and hear “we feel that you may have a more severe form of Osteogenesis than we thought or worse bone cancer. Yes, that word cancer was spoken. This is something hard to digest. I kept things quiet because nothing had been done yet to say one way or the other yet. Then I went for more testing and a letter came just before Christmas saying that things weren’t as favorable as hoped. They were waiting for more results to return to make decisions of action. Then another message comes in my email telling me to check my messages from my doctor. I did that and learned that the bone turnover is high. This usually ends with having to get infusions to reduce the turnover. The rest of the results should return soon. I see the doctor in January.

All this is upsetting, but I still haven’t given up. Yes, I have cried several times about this. It’s hard to take in.It is hard to move forward some days when it hangs over you. Yet, I decided not to let it break my spirit and keep up the unbreakable spirit. I also took a look again at the name of the bone disease Osteogenesis Imperfecta - do you see something I see? Ok, let me show you. Imperfecta means something is wrong right? God never said ‘Oops!’ When He designed our son and I and all of us with Osteogenesis Imperfecta because He made us we can say “I’m perfecta” Did you catch that? We are perfect in God’s eyes!

Thanks for hanging out with me and reading through this long post. Have a great New Year’s everyone!! When I have to final update on the results I will be sure to post them here. Know that you can write me anytime here and I will respond. If you need prayer please leave me a message and I will pray alongside you.

Thanks for Stopping by,

Grace & Peace,

Challenges that come how will you handle the storm?

Good Afternoon, Everyone! I hope that you have wonderful day today. I posed the question to you because I have had several challenges thrown at me recently. I thought by posing it to you I thought it would give you something to think about. I could have easily thrown in the towel and given up in the storms I am facing right now. I chose not to give up. I chose to face these storms head on.  I know that God will carry me through them. We all face different challenges and storms in our lives; from things in our lives, the children, medical things, relationship things and more. The challenges I am facing right now are medical related. They’re overwhelming to me because they’re coming one after the other.  Yes, I could give up, I could cry over them, I could get angry over them; I could worry; where would that get me? How would that resolve anything? It would not resolve anything, it would only stop me in my tracks. It would stop me from moving forward. I instead have taken each one of these challenges to the Lord. I have given them to Him to carry. I left them with Him and as I go through these challenges I will give all the new information that comes from each one and give it to the Lord. I know the days ahead will not be easy, but with the Lord they will be easier. How you ask? Here are some scriptures that I have read that will help me through the days ahead. I will share them with you here. After I share the scriptures with you I will open up about the medical challenges I am facing. 

Psalms 27:1 

 “The Lord is my light and my salvation —so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?”

Isaiah 41:13

“For I hold you by your right hand — I the Lord your God. And, I say to you, Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.”

I Peter 5:7

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” 

As promised I told you I would open up about what is going on with me. The first storm has been my back I have been having lots of pain still from my injury in April with the aquatic therapy. I have now had two surgical back procedures and may be facing a third. A second storm that I am facing is one with my eyes. I was already diagnosed with early stages of glaucoma, but that is begining to change. I was told that the collagen defect due to my brittle bones disease is now affecting my eyes. I may be facing some serious things ahead. They did mention about surgery for the eyes. I don’t know as I am ready for that yet. I know these things generally happen later in your life, but I am experiencing things now.  I did not think I would be experiencing these right now in my life. I also am experiencing injuries that are occurring without my doing anything to be hurt. I was dealing with extreme pain in my left elbow. I did not know what could be causing it. The doctor asked if I had been doing any heavy lifting or gardening; no, I have not. I have been recouping from a back surgical procedure two weeks ago. He said I guess you wouldn’t be then. They took some pictures and ran some scans discovering that the tendon in my elbow is inflamed and tearing. Again the words surgery come out of the doctor’s mouth. Not what I was wanting to hear. We will try other things before surgery. I will try physical therapy then from there we will see what needs to be done to resolve things.

How you take the storms that come in our lives will determine how you come out on the other side of the storm. If we let them control us then we can be negative, we can give up when there is a positive side that we are missing because we have decided to cover that with negative thoughts. This brings me to a scripture that I love a lot because I remember it often.

2 Corinthians 10:4-6

“For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casing down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.”

Thanks for taking the time to read this entry. I hope it has given some insight for you to be able to take on your storms in a different way. 

Thank You for stopping by, 

A Beautiful Summer Day....

Hi, Everyone!!! I hope you're having a great day.  I have been reading and enjoying the sunshine today. It's been pretty hot today; typical summer day. I thank God for his beautiful creations. The trees, flowers, the birds, animals. I enjoy seeing them when I look out my window. 

Today has been a pretty good day. The pain is at a minimum right now. I am thankful for that as yesterday was a bit of a challenge when I was at church. I didn't get up and leave although I could have, I chose to stay. God blessed me in that because when I left I was not in pain as I was in the service. Thank you, Lord!!! I felt very refreshed after being in service. I came home and I was able to hear the sermon again!! It was already up!!! Sometimes it takes a day or two, but it was already up.  I then went to a site of a Pastor friend of my family, Pastor Ken Graves,  to see if he had a sermon from the same book of the Bible and he did. I listened to him as well. I was blessed to see that many of the points that my Pastor brought out our friend, Pastor Ken Graves did as well.  This is the sermon from my Pastor, Dr. Eric Paashaus 2 John, Jesus In The Flesh.

I will leave you with this short message; have fun, enjoy your day!! I will write more another time. 

Coming Back......Everything that should have broken me...only made me stronger!

Hi, Everyone!!! Hope you're having a good day. I have been busy this morning with reading and talking to a few close friends that needed me this morning. I also had some business that I had to attend to for my husband and that's complete now. I can finally take some time to write here. Well, ok...that phone call made a hiccup. We had appointments planned for our son this week and pre-registered for them. A call came and now the place that is doing his DEXA scan changed the appointment for the DEXA...now they're going to coordinate it with the doctor instead of my having to call.  I appreciate that since they had taken it to their hands to change the appointment to start with. 

Now for the title, why I chose "Everything that should have broken me....only made me stronger!" I chose that because I have sat here during my recovery with loved ones around me. The various things I felt with the injury from losing functionality in my leg to the point that I couldn't walk. I had to learn to walk again. I had excruciating pain that even with meds didn't relieve it maybe as quickly as I hoped.  God is bigger and God had it in control. I shed many tears during that time as the ladies that came around me can tell you. Them encouraging me; helping me when I needed help to stand, to walk, to do just about any daily task that I needed to do. They were there. They saw that I was down because of the injury, but they didn't leave me there. No, they gave me the tools to get myself back up...they encouraged me through books to read that would be uplifting and showing that I needed not to be down.  They read God's Word to me and had me follow in my Bible where they were reading. We spent time in prayer, we spent time in worship.  I loved and still, love the time we spend together. We do get together even though I am getting better. I am still recovering, but not needing them hovering around me so much now. 

 I am thankful for the friendships that have developed even deeper. I am thankful for all that God placed in my life. 

Have a great day!!

Beginning to find Life.....

Hi, Everyone!!! I know that title may throw some of you, but when I wrote that I got to thinking how this journey has been since the injury. It has been slow and steady, yes, there have been setbacks and things. God has been there throughout and when I don't feel He's there He shows me in His own way that He is. When I am questioned how I don't always know how to answer so one understands I just know what He does. It is hard to put words because sometimes what we think are the right words to say are the exact opposite in someone else's eyes because they mean something different to them than they do to you. I mean like if I say "I'll have a bulls-eye, thanks." Someone might bring me a target with a hole in the center....that's not what I meant. Someone may say "I'll have an egg-in-a-hole, thanks." These two things mean the same the 'bulls-eye' and 'egg-in-a-hole' - it is a slice of bread with a hole in the center with an egg cooked. The same thing, but the wording is different.

Back to my "Beginning to find life"; I put this title because like I said I have seen changes in what's transpired since this injury. I have seen where I was and where I am now. I am not the same as I was I am changed I am different. You say how it's an injury; simple it's bad in the beginning but as time goes it gets better no big deal. Yea, ok I agree, but this has been a big deal. There has been so much that has happened. I have had people helping me daily, bringing meals, blessing my family when we were at wits ends not knowing what was coming next in this healing from the injury. That didn't matter, what mattered God knew. God knew who He was going to bring here, He knew who was going to bring a meal, He knew my allergy to onions - He knew I didn't have to worry about who brought meals because they knew my allergy. They weren't direct family either, no, they were my church family, my friends.

I say changes, there were challenges, pulling from the comfort zone, and so much more. There were times I felt like I was squashed by "God's Hammer" only close friends of mine will understand that terminology. I am better for it - I know more of what I have to do, what is expected of me. How can I say that? I say that because of what has been brought before me. I still have so much on my plate, am I overwhelmed? If I answered "no" that'd be a lie, if I say "yes" - then some may say don't be dramatic. Whoever said I was, did I say I was being dramatic no? I am calm in this even though there is so much going on right now. I will get through this. Why will I get through this, I will because I have committed my life to Christ. 

Thanks for Stopping,

Deep In Thought........

Today has been a wet day with the constant rain coming down. I was looking for a picture to fit with how I have been today. Today I spent most of my time deep in thought. I have been thinking about so many things with all that I am dealing with in this journey of healing. I verse that I thought was from the book of Colossians. Colossians 4:2-3 (NLT) "Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. Pray for us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about His mysterious plan concerning Christ...." You may ask why this verse...well, I thought of this one because devoting ourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart; God hears us when we pray. He hears us when we pray and spend time with Him; our relationship grows with what He teaches us. Our hearts are more open to receiving what He has for us. I have been finding with this whole injury my spending time in the Word and prayer I have grown in so many ways. I realize that God means for me to be where I am. You think right away I dare to say; how can you say that? I mean seriously! Are you saying that God meant for you to get injured while in that pool for therapy??? No, I am not saying that. I am saying that He may have needed me to slow down and He allowed this.

There are times where God needs us to slow down and hear what He has for us. While getting injured doesn't mean that was the way He wanted me to slow down. It may have taken that because I admit I can be stubborn and push on when I shouldn't. Some circumstances are beyond our control. Sometimes just a card in the mail, a phone call, a knock on the door can throw us for a loop.  We need to be ready for what may come our way.  When we worry about something is us putting question marks where God puts a period. God appreciates when we do His work; what He has planned for us, for you, for me. There are so many ways that God gets our attention to get us to slow down to draw to Him. I am thankful for this time. This has been a long time; we are now five weeks in and I am still not where I need to be physically, but I have grown in so many other ways. 

I have been with four different women from my church. They come certain days of the week to help me at my home, with walking, with making meals for me, for conversation - times of refreshing for them and for me. We talk about things in our lives and share with one another.  They have taught me so much about them and they've said I have taught them so much about me. I have told them some really personal things that I don't share with just anyone. We spent time in prayer; we spent time in tears not always because of sadness, but in times of growth, times of frustration from things of negative anger. There are times that we spend singing our hearts out loudly with the television...hehe so loudly that we rock and roll my husband right out the front door. I hate to admit we laugh when we do that. Is that wrong??? I have to say that it's funny at times watching his reaction when he's going out that door.  In times like these, I have to think of God's glory rather than for my relief.  You may think why wait, how do you do that?? I mean seriously, naturally, we think of questions like these. "How did I get into this mess, and how can I get out?" "How quickly can I solve this problem?" "Why did this have to happen to me?"  That last one is a difficult one, isn't it? I mean when we get hurt, when we get into something that is catastrophic we think how did this happen? Why didn't I stop? Why didn't I see this coming? Sometimes we need to step back. When something comes at us; instead of reacting how we usually do "how can I get out of this mess?". We should change our thinking to "How can God be glorified in this situation. By doing this can change your whole perspective on the situation that you're in. 

When you think about it what comes to your mind? When you think of the enemy what does he do he comes in and bothers us, annoys us. His mission is to seek, kill and destroy. We need to acknowledge when he sneaks in and attacks us...we need to be at the ready and keep our eyes on the Lord. I have kept you here a long time so I will let you go. I thank you for taking the time to read my post. I will have more to write in the days ahead. 

Thanks for stopping by, have a great day,

Long Time No Visit

Greetings Everyone!!! I am sorry that it's been a long, long time since I have been writing. I apologize. I have been trying to get back on my feet and walking again. I am making progress with some setbacks. I am determined to move ahead. I did get some outdoor time even if it was just sitting on the bench outside my home. That's progress because I am not surrounded by the four walls that now feel like a prison. I hate to say it, but I don't want to be a fixture in my living room; in my living room recliner.
While I could focus on what I am not doing yet; I will not and refuse to. I have to say that this time with the challenges that are and were before me was very taxing on my emotions.  When this all began it was some back pain that started this.  I went to the doctor to seek help to find that I was directed to therapy.  I thought I was making the right choice. When I experienced some pain the first day I thought okay this is expected this is something different that I am used to doing. When it transferred over to the second day and continued from there as you know the rest of what happened. I knew then, that I had challenges ahead that haven't happened yet, challenges that I was facing right at that moment. I said that this was very taxing on my emotions. This was; those that came willingly to our home to help me with everyday tasks, personal tasks I am so very grateful and thankful for every moment spent with them. I am not saying that this is a one-way experience. That is not this in any way.  I say that because these were times of refreshing for me and for them. We learned from one another. They learned about me; things that I had experienced in life. I learned things about their lives; things they experienced. This has impacted how I have dealt with and continue to deal with this setback. Setback?! You may say is that what you call it?? It is and it is an injury from the physical therapy as well, but I will get to my goals and ambitions in God's timing. He knows what they are and when they will happen. While others may think that I am wrapped in what I cannot do. I am not while these things do get to my emotions going and I can become overwhelmed at times.  Those times have been fortunate to have been blessed with friends around and them to bring words from God to my heart that some didn't even know that I was struggling with things. I appreciate each one of them that have been here. I am thankful for my husband that the Lord gave me. I say this because of something dear and close to his heart he shared with me during this time of struggle with me. I will not disclose his words here as they were just that dear and close to his heart and not easy for him to share. I have to say that his sharing these words made our relationship even stronger and helped me to see things with him differently in the current circumstances that I am dealing with.

I have to say that today I am doing better, still have a way to come yet. I am getting there. I am not giving in or complaining at all that it's taking this long to get back to where I was. I can say that I am better for the challenges that I have faced already. I am stronger for it as well. I have been in the Word throughout this ordeal. I have been directed to scripture, to books, to other things that friends and family have brought to me. I was also given things from my Pastor during this time as well. He has touched my heart with his encouraging words through this time. He has touched my heart with his sermons as well. I know through this whole process I have grown in many ways. I am thankful for what God is teaching me through this.  I hope that you will stick with me to see how things turn out and where God leads me throughout this challenge. 

Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to read my post and stopping by. Have a wonderful day!!! 

Glorifying God in Times of Trial

Good Evening Everyone!! Hope you're having a great day. I have to say that I had a rough day with pain and thoughts. I had a dear friend of mine from church staying with me to help me since I have been injured from participating in aquatic therapy because of my doctor's script. I had a tough time with getting up as I cannot do it on my own. I have to have assistance, then I have to use a walker once I am up. Using the walker is difficult as my right leg is not moving the way it should be. I cannot place my foot flat when walking. It will not go that way. If it is forced to go flat then it snaps back up because it will not go flat. 

I wish that I knew prior to going in the water that it was a bad decision for people like me with Osteogenesis Imperfecta. The resistance of the water and our body weight can cause injury and or fracture.

I was told by my doctor that I will be going for pain management for my leg, pelvis, hip until we figure if there are stress or compression fractures. The place for pain management mentioned about if I would be interested in medical marijuana. I am so on the fence with this. I have to say God has really blessed me, directed me in finding out about this. I knew I needed to find out first and foremost if my insurance covered this or not. I didn't want to get excited about trying something that may work for my pain and help my bones to have that excitement destroyed by the insurance company not covering it. I called our insurance company not sure what to expect out of the phone call, but I can say for sure I was greatly blessed and I was told by the one that I was talking to that I was encouraging to her. She said that I was positive and had a positive spirit. I feel that it was God that brought her and me together tonight in the phone conversation. I feel we both needed to hear each other and what we had to express to one another. I am so happy that God did that. I gave her my site and she said that she'd be sure to research Osteogenesis Imperfecta and come look at my site.  I hope I can be an encourager for her. 

I have to say that today has been very challenging as my leg has been spasming very hard. I cannot walk on my foot - I am walking with a walker. I have a wheelchair to go out to do things. I have to spend my days and nights in the recliner in the living room. I really wish that I could get in my bed. My doctors have said no laying flat it is dangerous at this point. I really miss going upstairs in my house. I ought to end things here for now and write more tomorrow.

Have a great night, thanks for stopping by,

I am home...

I titled this I am home. Yes, I am home. It has not been an easy journey. This all started from April 11th my first day of Aquatic Therapy. I left feeling a bit sore. I knew that would happen, but thought this is part of healing. I have to deal with some pain before the healing. Glad that the Lord is my strength to get me better. 

This picture I chose, says "Dear Lord, I come to You today, feeling broken, the same pain, and hurt again. I am honestly tired and weak right now. But I will hold on to You, my sweet Jesus because I know that this is just a part of my journey here as your humble servant." I chose this because although there are pain and feelings of discouragement I know the Lord is always there for me, no matter the situation, the circumstances He's always there. 

Missing in Action! Hospital Stay!

Husband while waiting for the doctor to come for me.

Husband took the gurney they wanted for me

I couldn't lay on the gurney as it caused more excruciating pain. I let him have it.

The nurse that came around bringing a warm blanket for me. She thought would be funny to place one over him too. She covered him from head to toe with the blanket, even over

the face. He never reacted, never moved. Haha! She took it from his face and he stayed asleep for a while until the doctors came around for me. 

Finally after x-rays, and CT scan they decided best to admit me to the hospital to see if they could get to the source of my pain and why I am losing function in my right leg.  Mind you all this started from doing aquatic physical therapy. Therapy is to help us to improve our lives make us healthier. Although with me the doctor not being familiar with my disease thought that physical therapy would be too dangerous because of the weight bearing exercises that would be expected of me; having Osteogenesis Imperfecta.  The doctor thought aquatic therapy would be better as the buoyancy would be better for my bones that it would relieve the pressure and I could exercise and improve. 

As I found out from friends and through research that Aquatic therapy is not a good idea for us as our bones can move and not go back into the original place they were. After two sessions the first one lasted less than 15 minutes in the water. The second not much longer than that. I could hardly get out on my own to the car to meet my husband. The doctor told us that aquatic therapy is very dangerous for those of us with Osteogenesis because of the resistance on the bones and muscles in the water. This can cause compression fractures, stress fractures, and edema within the bone.

Here I am in my room. They would not let me lay flat in my bed. I couldn't because of the pain.

The IV - they actually got me on the first try. 

There are 5 different medical bracelets on my wrist.

I realize these leg wraps are to prevent clots, but I call them

the bed tethers - they don't want you to escape, so when you 

try these will have a wait a minute hose attached to them.

The view from my room.

This was my breakfast the first day that I was there.

The walker that you see. That was my main transportation other than the wheelchair.
They liked me in the chair more than using the walker because I was so unsteady.

These are just a few of the medications they currently have me on. 

There are three of them not in this photo after I looked at them.

This all because of Aquatic Therapy. I was doing well prior to starting the therapy. You'd think that doing the therapy would be the better of the moves to do as it would better myself and strengthen me to continue doing well. Now, it's even more difficult as I cannot get around without a walker or wheelchair. I knew with the OI that those two medical assistant items would be part of my daily life, but not this soon.

This has been difficult for my family because we are a single income family due to the challenges that I face daily and many employers while they are not to ask "previous conditions", they tell you-you are a high liability risk then will not hire you. This makes things difficult, but we trust the LORD to provide and HE has provided.

Aquatic Therapy Pleasant or Torture

Hi, Everyone!!! Just had to use this cute adorable puppy for the cover for the article. I was trying to find a different picture but didn't want to post pictures of other people. I will try and post a picture of the pool where I do my therapy. The photo below is the pool where I do my aquatic therapy. The pool all the way around is 4 feet. Ok, those of you that know me know how short I am. With that being said the 4 feet of water is on my shoulders. You could say doing the therapy is a challenge all on its own. 

Today we did a few things it was quite rough on me. I am glad that I have over a week before I have to go back and pick up paperwork. I asked them to write out a plan for after this because I don't want to use up all my limited therapy visits from my insurance. They could appeal, but from what I have learned the insurance company about 90% of the time will say no.

I have to say that I am paying for it from what we did today. I have been sick and in lots of pain. I am slow moving right now as I write this.  I am thankful that I have a break from therapy for a while. I say that because when I go back it's a paperwork pickup. I will then take the pool therapy to land and incorporate it with my walking. I will beat this with my body. I don't know what the doctor will say when I go back to him in May. We will see. I then see my OI doctor in June. I will not be looking forward to this one as she's going to be moving out of state. 

I have to say so many thoughts are running through my mind right now as I write this. I know some of you may tell me not to think this way or that, but dealing with this daily is difficult. When challenges come up and trying to get through them is difficult and not always the way you think. When it comes to therapy we don't have many options. There are a lot of things that we cannot do because we could fracture easily. 

Thanks for taking time to read, have a good night,

In the Eye of the Storm - The Lord remains in control

Greetings Everyone!! Hope today finds you well. This morning's "dance" with my husband was better. I was feeling pretty good. We did our walk then I was downstairs to get ready for the day. I got our son motivated when he came down to get ready for his day. He was quite the sleepy one this morning. He started his day I then had to go to physical therapy. The therapist slotted a 45-60 minute session with me. I did my best. I wasn't liking getting in the pool. Now I understand why I shouldn't have. While one may think that aquatic therapy would be great for someone with brittle bones, it's quite the opposite. I am dearly paying for it now. I made it through 17 minutes. I had to stop it was too painful. I was finding parts of me that were hurting that didn't before. While I know that this is painful I have to look forward not back. I have to look up not down. I am in a storm right now, but God will get me through He remains in control. He guards my soul; no matter the storm I am going through He is there to get me through to the other side. He will do it for you. My special friend sent me this song. I know why it was sent to her, but she felt that I needed to listen and that I would like it. I do like the song very much. I mentioned to her that I had heard it twice last week. When I hear something two or three times in a short time span I listen and pay attention - never know what the Lord is trying to show you or bring to you. You must remain open and alert to what He has for you.

Thanks for Stopping by,